I've Got A Secret, Can You Guess What It Is?
by FoamyxTobi
Summary: Tobi has a secret. He doesn't want his sempai to know, however, for it includes Deidara himself. But when Deidara says hurtful things, what does Tobi out of a broken heart? Rated T-M for language and shounen-ai. Future TobixDeidara
1. Guess My Secret, ZetsuSan!

Heh, this is my first full length story. I'm a huge DeixTobi fan, they're like, the cutest pairing evers.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but if I did...Heheheh...

If you like SasuxNaru, then go check out my other story. It's a one shot, and I think I did a good job on it...But that's really up for the reader to decide.

R&R, pwease!

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"...And then I saw a butterfly! It was all fluttery, but there was no butter, so that made Tobi sad. But I chased the butterfly around, and I made friends with it!!" Tobi finished triumphantly. He had just been telling a 3 hour long story about him and his day outside.

Deidara was busy slamming his head against a wall. _Why, why, oh why did Leader-sama pair me up with this cretin, un???_ he thought, ramming his skull into the hard painted brick wall harder and harder.

"Is Deidara-sempai trying to swat a fly?" Tobi asked his master curiously.

Deidara's eye twitched. He turned his throbbing head towards Tobi, his gritting his teeth. _Must...resist...urge...to...splode...un..._ he repeated in his head.

"No, Tobi, un. I am not swatting a fly, un." Deidara said through a tightly clenched jaw.

"Ohhh...Ok!!" Tobi said brightly, and anyone with a brain could tell that under his mask, he was probably smiling innocently. Deidara wanted to rip the orange mask right off the little bastard's face and bitch-slap that grin right off him.

"Tobi is going to go talk to Zetsu-san for a while, okie Deidara-sempai?" Tobi half asked, half announced to his infuriated elder.

That was another thing Deidara hated about Tobi. He never said 'oh-kay' like a normal person. It was always, 'oh-key'.

"God, just go, un." Deidara snapped.

"Okie!!" Tobi chirruped, skipping off to Zetsu's lair.

Yet another thing Deidara despised. Tobi skipped. He _SKIPPED_. What the hell would their enemies think, if they saw that nuisance skipping??

Deidara grumbled, and headed off to his own room. Maybe, just maybe, he'd get some peace.

Tobi, smiling proudly under his mask, made his way toward his friend's room. He liked it in there, it was always warm, and Zetsu had the best snacks! There was one called 'Fur-Te-Lyzier' that Tobi had especially enjoyed, but now he couldn't find it anymore. Zetsu was his favorite person, of course besides Kisame-san and his sempai, Deidara. He could always tell Zetsu anything, whether it be secrets, fears, or just some good news about something that had happened to him.

Lately, he had a huge secret that only he knew, and he was going to tell Zetsu it as soon as he got into his room.

Tobi made it to Zetsu's room and knocked on the door. "Zetsu-san, it's me, Tobi!"

"Intrude..." came the monotone voice of the plant man Zetsu.

Tobi grinned under his mask and opened the door. The humidity washed over him, and it gave Tobi a pleasant feeling. He charged in, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Zetsu-san!! Zetsu-san!!" Tobi hollered out, his voice echoing through the large room.

"I am here, Tobi." Zetsu answered. Tobi, once more, skipped over to Zetsu.

"Zetsu-san! Ooo, have I got the biggest secret ever!!" Tobi squealed, unable to contain his excitement.

"Oh really?" Zetsu questioned, the white side raising its eyebrow while the black side narrowed its eye.

"Yes really!!" Tobi squealed again, almost hopping around. "But you gotta promise not to tell, Zetsu-san!! You gotta!!"

Zetsu's white side smiled slightly, and the black side smirked. Both sides had a small fondness for the hyperactive boy, the white side's being larger than the black's.

"I promise." he replied.

"Okie!! My secret is..."

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Oh teh noes! Cliffhanger?? Hanging from a cliff!!!

What's Tobi-kun's secret? Why is Deidara so PMSy?? Why am I asking you??

Stay tuned!!


	2. But I Don't Wanna Squish DeidaraSempai!

Yaay! The second chapter!! What _is_ Tobi's secret??

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, although I wish I did. : tear:

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"Well, Tobi? What is it?" Zetsu asked, growing impatient of the stalling.

Tobi giggled, and whispered, "I don't know what it means, Zetsu-san, but whenever I see Deidara-sempai, my tummy feels like there's butterfly's living in it!!" Tobi giggled again and hopped up and down.

"Butterflys..." Zetsu repeated, both sides arching their eyebrows. "**What does he mean by _that_?"** his black side asked. "I'm not quite sure...But...Oh dear." his white side answered, then finally realized what Tobi had meant by 'butterflies'.

"Tobi..." he asked slowly, choosing his words carefully as to not beffuddle the young boy. "Does your heart feel like it goes faster when you see Deidara as well?"

Tobi nodded enthusiatically, used to Zetsu's conversations with himself. "Yeah, Zetsu-san!! It feels like..." he thought, and then imitated his heart. "Ba-dum...ba-dum...ba-dum...BA-DUMBA-DUMBA-DUMBA-DUM!!!!" he yelled out, throwing his arms in the air for emphasis.

"Tobi..." Zetsu said. "It seems you've got a crush on Deidara."

"A crush??" Tobi repeated, immediatly going into a fit of panic. "I don't wanna crush Deidara-sempai!! He'll get squashed and be all flat and smooshy!!" Tobi said, hopping about, raising his hands to his mask as though to bite his nails.

"No, Tobi." Zetsu said, his white side smiling again, while his black side scoffed, amused. "It means you want to be with him."

"Ohhh...But I have to be with him, Leader-sama put us together, Zetsu-san!! You silly head." Tobi smiled under his mask, shaking his head slightly.

"**You dumb child, you want to be his boyfriend!!!!!"** Zetsu's black side snapped out, annoyed with Tobi's ability to be completley immune to the obvious.

"Ohhh!!!!" Tobi said, finally getting it. "But, Zetsu-sama...Won't Deidara-sempai get pregnant??" Tobi asked, worried.

Zetsu stared at Tobi. Just stared at him. Mainly in disbelief that Tobi knew aout pregnancy, being the small minded child he is, and thinking that a male could get pregnant...But then again, you never could tell with Deidara.

"Tobi, Deidara cannot get pregnant." Zetsu informed the little kid, his black side keeping itself from sniggering. "He is a male, and so are you. There's no possible way Deidara or you could ever have children."

"Really???" Tobi said, somewhat disappointed. "Awww, Tobi would make a good papa. Tobi is a good boy!"

"Uh...huh." Zetsu answered, both sides being at a complete loss for words. Tobi had to be the most misinformed innocent child he had ever met.

"Should Tobi go tell Deidara-sempai about Tobi's crush?" Tobi asked Zetsu. Tobi smiled behind his mask, knowing that the wise Zetsu would give him advice on what to do. He did that before, with Tobi's odd foot fungus and bellybutton lint problem. Now he didn't have stinky feets no mores!

"Well, it depends, Tobi." Zetsu answered. Having had a crush himself once, he knew what to do. Ah, Lily. Such a pretty flower. "Do you _want_ to tell Deidara about your crush?"

"Oh, yes, very muchly so!!" Tobi answered, rubbing his hands together, unable to stay still out of excitement.

"Then go tell him, Tobi." Zetsu's white half smiled warmly, something he rarely did. Aw, but shucks, Tobi was so durn cute.

"OKIE!!" Tobi squealed, tackle-hugging Zetsu. He scurried off, in search of his sempai.

Once Tobi was gone, Zetsu began conversing with himself again.

"I wonder what will become of this..."

**"Nothing good, of course."**

"Indeed..."

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Ah, yet another chapter done. I amaze myself sometimes, I truly do.

Hah, not really. x3

:( I wonder what will happen to little Tobi-kun...Stay tuned, R&R my friends!


	3. I Hate You! I Truly, Truly Do

Yay! thanks for the good reviews!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, buuuut if I did, Sasuke wouldn't be such a bitch ass. For realz.

And now, the third chapter! R&R, yoz!!

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Tobi burst out of Zetsu's room, not bothering to shut the door behind him. Yet, it closed. How creepy.

He pounded his way down the many confusing hallways of the Akatsuki Lair. He had his destination in his head: Deidara's room. He was always in there, either making bombs or dreming about them. The only time he wasn't in there was when he was on a mission with Tobi.

Deidara was in his room, and actually enjoying the peace he had. It was rare nowadays that he had 'me' time, because wherever he turned, Tobi was telling him useless crap he really didn't care about. He carefully poked and prodded at the newest creation he was making: a medium sized exploding platypus. He couldn't wait to make it explode in some poor Leaf ninja's face. _Hehehe...This'll show those dumb shinobi that the Akatsuki was the best,un..._ he thought to himself, grinning and he prodded a sensitive part of his creation. "Just one more adjustment, un..." he muttered.

**_BAM_**.

Tobi threw open the door to Deidara's room, making the door bounce against the thick wall and making an especially large noise.

"DEIDARA-KUN, I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL Y-" Tobi began in his usual sugar-induced psychopathic way, but was cut short by a large, loud **_BANG!_**

"Tobi, what the-" Deidara had began at the same time, but was cut off by the same explosion. The noise made by the door had startled Deidara so bad, he jabbed a tool he was using directly into the Platypus' kidney, or at least, where its kidney would be. Thus, making the whole thing explode.

The room was engulfed in black, and Tobi started screaming, "I'M BLIND!! I'M BLIND!!!!"

Soon, the smoke cleared, and Deidara was coughing wildly into his hand, which didn't like that much at all.

"Deidara-kun! Isn't it wonderful! I can see again!!" Tobi squealed, dancing around in happiness, almost forgetting why he had intruded in the first place. He looked around, and saw that everything in the room was covered in black, and Deidara was a gray and black mess of soot and ash and powder, still coughing wildly.

"Wow, Deidara-kun, what happened here?" Tobi asked in amazement.

That was the last straw for Deidara. All this time, putting up with his bullshit, but now, Tobi had messed up one of his best creations and reduced his room to an utter mess. Deidara stopped coughing, and his eye twitched madly.

"What happened, un??" he repeated, glaring at Tobi. "_YOU_ happened, you little shit, un!! I can't go for 5 seconds without having to see that shit-ugly mask, un!! And your voice!! Oh my GOD, that annoying voice, un!!" He made a face like he assumed Tobi's to be whenever he bugged him, and started mocking Tobi in a cruel, high pitched whiny voice. "'Can we go get ice-cream, Deidara-senpai, un? Let's go flower picking, Deidara-senpai, un! I saw a squirrel, un, and I made friends!!" Deidara spat on the ground, dropping his mocking manner. "NO ONE FUCKING CARES, UN!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!" he screamed, his face turning a dark pink from lack of air. "No one cares about your little adventures, un, or those little fuckin unicorns or whatever, un, and no one gives half a shit about you, un." he said coldly, glaring at Tobi with all the hate he could muster. "_No one_." he repeated, turning away from Tobi, not caring what the fuck he did. Knowing him, he'd probably brush it off and dance.

"What the hell is going on in here???" Kisame roared, bursting into the room. He had heard a large explosion, and then many angry screams emitting from Deidara's room. He ran as quickly as he could to the room to find a complete and utter disaster. But, it was too late.

Tobi felt a pain in his chest like he had never felt. He felt as if his lungs were being wrapped around a large pole and beaten mercilessly with a stick, like someone was hitting him in the stomach with a lemon slice wrapped around a large gold brick, and the worst feeling out of all of them...his heart. His heart felt as though someone had ripped it out of his chest, taken a large bite out of it, played hackeysack with it, then skipped rope with it and then shoved it down Tobi's throat.

He felt...he felt sick, and sad. He wanted to die, right there and then. He felt a large lump in his throat and tears began to well up in the corners of his eyes. He was silent for a while, Deidara's words sinking into his brain, burning him like a hot iron. _...Deidara-kun hates me...He really, really does..._

"T-Tobi is sorry, D-Deidara-senp-pai!!" Tobi managed to choke out. He let out a large sob, and turned, pushing past Kisame and running away from Deidara's room. All he wanted to do was get as far away from Deidara as possible. Many tears rolled down his face and seeped out from under his mask. He threw open the door to the Akatsuki hideout, and ran outside. He ran, and ran, not caring where he was going. Not caring at all.

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Ah!! Deidara-senpai is such a jerk!! Where's Tobi gonna go?? What will the rest of Akatsuki do? Will they try to look for him, or will they be overjoyed from being rid of their nuisance? Stay Tuned!!!!


	4. Is That How You Really Feel?

Hey! Chapter 4 already!?!! Thanks for all the good reviews so far, keep it up!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but oh, how I wish I did...: shakes fist:

R&R my pretties!! 3 Oh, random advice: If you like techno stuff, YouTube 'Le Disko'. Tis very catchy.

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Kisame stared at the scene before him. He was pushed into the doorframe as Tobi ran past him.

"Tobi!!" Kisame cried out after him, but once again, he was too late. Tobi was already out the door. Kisame turned to Deidara, putting his blue hands on his hips.

"Just what the hell happened here, Deidara?" Kisame demanded, eyeing Deidara warily. Kisame thought of Tobi as a brother, or even a son, and he hated it when Deidara yelled at him. But Tobi always shrugged it off and went to Zetsu-san or something. But now, making Tobi cry? That's unforgivable.

Deidara heard Tobi cry out, and he turned around to see a pissed looking Kisame, expectnig an answer from him.. Deidara had cooled off some, but he was still pretty mad, and he didn't like the tone Kisame was giving him.

"Fuck you, sharkman, un." Deidara snapped coldly to the demon shark. "If you love that whiny bitch so much, why don't you go after him, un? I sure as hell won't, un." Deidara crossed his arms and glared at Kisame.

Kisame rolled his eyes, thinking Deidara to be very immature, and answered in a slightly annoyed tone. "Deidara, why do you have to be such an ass? So Tobi did something, so what? That's no reason for you to make the poor guy cry."

Deidara, his anger starting to ebb away, looked at Kisame with a trace of guilt in his eye. Ah, but hell, Tobi was an annoying motherfucker.

"I hate him, Kisame, un. I really couldn't care less what happens to him, un. In fact, I don't know why I hadn't done this sooner, un. Hell, if I could, I'd do it again, un." Deidara said, and laughed cruelly, still crossing his arms across his chest.

Kisame stared at Deidara, bewildered at what he just said. Could he actually mean that?

"Deidara..." he began slowly, still shocked. "I know this is an 'evil' orginization, but out of all of us, even that masochist Hidan, you're the evilest one. You're a real asshole."

Kisame turned from Deidara, and walked away from the destroyed room without another word, too ashamed of his teammate to even notice where he was going.

Deidara felt no guilt. He truly felt happy that Tobi was gone. _Hopefully for good, un... _Deidara thought bitterly. He closed the door, which was hanging precariously from its hinges, and sighed, looking at his room. He had a lot of work to do.

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Ah, don't go yet, my dears!! As a special treat, I'm including some of the stuff I was originally gonna put in Chapter 5 in here, and make that one longer:O Le gasp!!! w KEEP READIN!!

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It had been three days since that episode with Deidara and Tobi. Tobi still hadn't come back yet. Almost everyone, even Leader-sama, seemed to be worried about the tyke. _Almost_ everyone. Deidara seemed to be the only Akatsuki member to be unfazed by Tobi's disappearance.

Deidara nearly skipped into the kitchen that morning, even whistling as he poured orange juice happily into a large purple cup.

"Ah, good morning, everyone, un!!" he chirruped happily, in an almost Tobi-like manner. "Isn't it a fuckin WONDERFUL day, un??" he felt so happy, he could dance on the table.

Itachi glared at Deidara. Yes, even the unfeeling clan-murdering Itachi Uchiha felt worried about Tobi._ Goddamn asshole..._ he thought, staring into his cornflakes glumly. Tobi had always stolen some cornflakes from his bowl and put them in his hair...It had always pissed him off, but now he missed it.

Kisame didn't even bother looking at Deidara. Every morning for the past three days as he ate his toast, he would stare at the untouched box of Cookie Crisp. Tobi's favorite cereal. He wondered where he was, and if he had even ate for the past three days.

Zetsu locked himself in his room. He had furious conversations with himself. Hours later Tobi left, Kisame had told Zetsu what had happened. Both sides were majorly pissed. He sat huddled on his bed, his black and white side trying to figure out what would be the best way to kill Deidara. He had even considered getting Orochimaru involved, but then decided against it. Orochimaru probably would molest everyone. Freak.

Kakuzu and Hidan hadn't even argued for the last 3 days. They went out and did their missions without a word, and came back almost excited, but once they noticed Tobi wasn't there to greet them like he had done before, they just sulked off to their room. Hidan had been sacrificing twice as many people and praying extra hard for Jashin to let no harm come to Tobi, something that he never did. Ever. Kakuzu absent-mindedly sewed little patterns of the swirls in Tobi's mask, and once he realized what he had been doing, just sighed sadly and sulked even more.

Even the Leader hadn't yelled at anyone. He and Konan had just been holed up in his office, and whenever they emerged, they both had no expression on their face, but sadness in their eyes.

Everyone was saddened by Tobi's disappearance. Everyone...except for Deidara.

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:3 Now it's the end. Poor, poor, Tobi. :( I wonder where he's gone to. Is he safe? Is he well-fed? ...Is he even alive?

Stay tuned, friends!!


	5. Where Has Tobi Gone?

After reading the last chapter, everyone knows how the Akatsuki are dealing with Tobi's gone-ness. But what has Tobi been up to for these last few days?

Introducing: Leaf ninja: bwum bwum duuuuun:

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but if I did..hmm...Sakura wouldn't be such a bitch. : nod nod:

More random advice!! Listen to the band Toybox, their songs are awesome, danceable, and funny!!!

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Tobi had been running. For how long, he didn't know. Deidara's words kept replaying in his head, over and over and over. He hadn't smiled in who knows how long; Deidara had taken his spark away.

Tobi stopped to rest. He felt very tired out. He looked around to see if he could figure out where he was. He was about 30 meters outside some large wooden gates. He noticed the large gates open slightly, and he ducked behind a bush, trying his hardest not to make a sound. Maybe it would be someone who would help him. Maybe not.

"C'mon, Sakura-chan!" a blond haired, blue eyed whiskered boy said as he leisurely walked out of Konoha. He and his teammate had been given a minor mission in Sunagakure, to deliver a package to the Kazekage, Gaara. "I wanna say hi to Gaara-san and see how he's doing!!" He held his hand behind his head, stopping so that his teammate could catch up.

"I'm coming, Naruto, keep your pants on!!" Sakura grumbled. She was carrying the package, and even though it was small, it was pretty heavy, so that weighed her down. The pink haired kunoichi finally made it outside of her village, and she punched Naruto on the arm.

"Itai!!!" Naruto yelped, throwing his hand over the forming bruise and rubbing it. "What the hell, Sakura??"

"That's for being an ass!!" Sakura snapped, raising her fist again as a warning. They were barely out of the village and already Naruto had began to annoy her. "C'mon, baka, let's go." she rolled her eyes and began walking, expecting Naruto to follow her.

Naruto put on a sad face and began trudging after his hot-tempered friend, his arm throbbing. About 10 meters away, his head shot up. "Sakura, hold on." he whispered.

"Hmm? What is it, Naruto?" Sakura answered, also dropping her voice to a whisper.

"I sense someone's chakra..." Naruto said, glancing around. He crept forward, drawing kunai out of his holder. "Dammit, I wish we had Neji..."

Tobi gulped. The Leaf ninja was coming towards him, and Tobi recognized him. It was Itachi-sama's Jinchuuriki. One of the most powerful ones. Tobi had learned of him in detail from Itachi and Kisame's bitter rants and angry death threats. He shrank into the bushes. Although it was torn up and worn out, he still had a black and red Akatsuki cloak on. He closed his eyes under the mask, praying to whoever was out there that he wouldn't die.

But then again, Deidara-senpai had promised Tobi that no one cared about him, so why not welcome death with open arms?

Tobi stood up with a straight back, looking Naruto in the eye. He was ready.

Naruto was about to jump into the bush when the hidden ninja stood up.

"Akatsuki!" Naruto snarled, immdiatly striking a fight pose, getting ready and bracing himself for any sudden impact.

Sakura also took a fight pose, getting ready to help Naruto in any way possible as soon as the Akatsuki member attacked.

Tobi stood still. _I wish they would get it over with..._ he thought sadly, his arms hanging limply at his sides. He bowed his head, waiting for the blows to start raining down on him.

When the Akatsuki member didn't attack him, Naruto dropped his stance slightly. "Eh? Aren't you gonna like, try to kill me?" Naruto asked, confused.

"No..." Tobi answered glumly, keeping the same way. "I was hoping you would try to kill me..."

"Ehh??" Naruto asked, completly dropping his stance, now staring at the Akatsuki member confused.

"Naruto, it may be a trap." Sakura warned. "He's Akatsuki, they never tell the truth unless it's about killing someone."

Naruto glanced at Sakura, nodding. "How do we know you're not lying? Give me your word, look me in the eye and say that you're telling the truth."

Tobi sighed, and lifted his head. Naruto's expression softened immediatly. He could feel nothing but despair radiating off of the masked Akatsuki member.

"I don't want to harm you." Tobi said, looking Naruto straight in his blue eyes. "I won't. I want you to kill me. Please."

"I believe you." Naruto said, looking at him. "But I won't kill you. I want to help you, believe it! Tell me what's wrong!!"

Sakura also dropped her guard, believing the Akatsuki as well. But she still glanced around, looking for any rustles or noises to indicate that there was someone else. She wasn't as trustworthy as Naruto, but she trusted his judgement.

Tobi sighed again. "Just kill me."

"No." Naruto said firmly, standing his ground.

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"_Yes._"

"NO, DATTEBAYO!!" Naruto yelled, already getting sick of the arguement. "Just tell me what's wrong, dammit!!"

"All right, fine!!" Tobi snapped back. "The Akatsuki hates me! They want me out, they don't care anymore, ok!! Now just kill me!!!! My crush, the only one I've liked, ever, hates me!! Just KILL me already!!!!" Tobi screamed, throwing his arms in the air. Being angry was a first for him. He'd never felt this way, but Deidara...Deidara had changed him for the worse.

Naruto stared at the boy, who was obviously upset. He ran up to him, lightning quick, and gave him a hug. Sakura stared after Naruto, but did the same, running up to the Akatsuki member, and placing a comforting hand on his back.

"I know how you feel..." he whispered. Sasuke was the same. The only one he had ever loved...hated him. "I know exactly how you feel." Naruto pulled away, and placed his hands on the boy's shoulders.

"What's your name?" Naruto asked kindly.

Tobi stared at Naruto. Was this guy crazy? "T-Tobi." he answered uncertainly, but he felt an amount of trust between him and Naruto.

"Well, Tobi, take off your cloak and mask!" Naruto said cheerfully, punching the air. "You're our new friend, believe it! C'mon, help us on our mission!!" Even Sakura smiled fondly at the Tobi, trust growing as well. "It'd be good to have another hand on the mission." she added to Naruto's statement, hoping Tobi would accept.

"A..friend?" Tobi asked. Wow, this guy wasn't just insane. He was on some type of sugar hype. But then...he felt a flicker of the spark he recently lost flare up, and he smiled a small smile under his mask. He removed his cloak, but kept his mask on, and said, "Tobi is a good boy."

"That's the spirit!!" Naruto cheered, and Sakura laughed a little, punching the boy softly on the shoulder. "C'mon, let's go!!!"

Naruto linked his arms between Sakura's and Tobi's, and dragged them off in the direction of Suna.

* * *

Ah, it's not over yet!! In fact, far from it!!

Tobi has friends, and now he, Naruto, and Sakura are going to visit Gaara in the Village Hidden in the Sand. But Gaara, having been KILLED by the Akatsuki before, will most likely not be as trusting as Naruto is! And what are the Akatsuki gonna do about Tobi? Is Leader-sama going to send out some troops, or keep waiting for Tobi to feel like coming back?

And just what the hell is with Deidara anyway??

STAY TUNED, FRIENDS!!!


	6. Naruto Busts A Window

While Tobi was traveling to Suna, what were the Akatsuki doing? Are they taking action after 4 days of no Tobi? Or are they just going to keep waiting? Read on, dear reader, read on.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Sad, isn't it?

* * *

Yet another day had passed, and still no Tobi. Everyone was thoroughly depressed. Leader-sama hadn't sent anyone on mission for the past two days, Hidan and Kakuzu's being the last one.

Deidara still acted happy, but behind closed doors...

He was a wreck.

He'd actually been that way all along. He felt so guilty, so broken. He would give anything to see that swirly orange mask again. He even stopped making clay bombs after they all came out looking like Tobi. He had almost taken a leaf out of Zetsu's book, no pun intended, and holed himself in his room. But something in him just didn't want to care.

He was awoken out of his thoughts by hearing a large crash emitting from the kitchen.

Kisame had taken a box of cereal off out of the cabinent, not realizing it was the unopened box of Cookie Crisp. He opened the box, and staring into space, had poured a large bowl. Itachi saw Kisame about to put a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, and leaped from his chair. He grabbed an edge of the table, and flipped it over, spilling milk onto the floor and knocking the spoon out of Kisame's hand.

"Don't eat that cereal!!" Itachi screeched. "That's Tobi's cereal!! You can't eat it!!" Itachi glared at Kisame, who was sitting in his chair, dazed.

"What the hell..?" Kisame asked, but then noticed the box of Cookie Crisp laying on the floor, its contents strewn around the table. "Oh no.." he muttered.

Itachi looked at Kisame, his glare fading. "I'm sorry, Kisame-san..." he muttered. "I'll get the broom..."

Leader-sama burst out of his office. "What the hell is going on, you two??" he demanded, staring at the wreckage.

"I'm sorry, Leader-sama, I took Tobi-san's cereal by accident." Kisame apologized, holding the dustpan for Itachi.

Hidan was close behind the Leader, and he glared at Kisame and Itachi. "Dammit, you fuckers! I was trying to pray!!"

Itachi glared at Hidan, and answered back coldly, "You're the fucker, like praying can do anything? It just builds hope for the _weak_."

Hidan snarled. "I'll fucking kill you!!" He started to lunge at Itachi, but was blocked by Leader.

"Calm yourselves." Leader-sama said quietly. "It's quite obvious what has put everyone on edge. Someone get Deidara in here. Now."

Hidan shot a glare at Itachi, but said, "I'll do it..." and he stomped away to Deidara's room. "Dumbass motherfucker.." he cursed under his breath. Deidara was lucky he wasn't strewn around the Akatsuki hideout, this was all his fault. Hidan kicked the door open, and said bitterly, "Hey asshole, Leader wants you in the fuckin kitchen." He stomped away, not caring if Deidara followed him or not.

Deidara got up from his bed, and forced himself to wear a huge grin. "Coming, un!!" he sang. And with a hop, skip, and a jump (quite literally), he was in the kitchen. Itachi and Kisame glared coldly at him, and Deidara just rolled his eyes.

"Get Zetsu, Deidara." Leader-sama commanded. "Find Tobi. Now. This is your fault he's gone. And you're paying for repairs. Got it?"

Deidara stared at Leader, his jaw dropping. "Oh fuck no, I'm not paying for shit, un!!" he protested.

"Yes. You are. Or consider yourself no longer part of the Akatsuki." Leader said calmly, keeping his ground.

"What the hell, un!!" Deidara screamed, but he knew it was pointless to argue. He trudged to Zetsu's room and knocked on the door. "Get your green ass out, Zetsu, un."

"I have nothing to say to you." Zetsu said in a monotone voice. "**Yeah, go the hell away, you son of a-**"

"Fine, don't find Tobi, see if I care, un!!" Deidara shouted, cutting Zetsu's black side off.

"Tobi?" Zetsu repeated, getting off his bed. "We're going to find Tobi?"

"Yes, un." Deidara said, rolling his eyes, although inside he was throwing a party. Almost immediatly, the door was thrown open and Zetsu had his red and black cloak on.

"That's the best news I've heard in a while." Zetsu said proudly. "Let's go." He started walking towards the front door, clutching Deidara by the collar of their signature cloak and dragging him out the door.

* * *

Meanwhile!!

* * *

"We're here, believe it!!" Naruto yelled. They had been travelling almost nonstop for the last day, getting to Suna a little sooner than it normally took.

"Yes, we know, Naruto." Sakura grumbled. She wanted to get inside, she was burning up in this climate.

Tobi smiled brightly under his mask, his first real smile for the last few days. "Let's go inside, Naruto-san!"

Naruto chuckled. He loved how Tobi was so formal. "Okay, Tobi-chan." He smiled brightly, and marched past the guards, who immediatly recognized him and Sakura.

"Make way for the next Hokage, believe it!" Naruto shouted as they marched to the big building that was known as the Kazekage's office.

Kankuro smirked. He could hear the boisterous boy from a mile away. "Temari, they're here." he called to his sister as he reclined comfortably in his chair.

"Then go tell Gaara-sama, idiot." She smirked, getting water out of the refridgerator.

"Awww...!" Kankuro whined, but reluctantly got out of his soft inviting chair and trudged to his brother's office. He knocked on the door, and Gaara called out, "Come in."

"Kazekage-sama, Naruto and his friend Sakura are here." Kankuro said, walking into the large room.

"Oh, good." Gaara smiled, looking up from his heaps of paperwork. "Tell the guards to let them in-"

As though on cue, Naruto leaped through window, and Sakura and Tobi came through the front door.

"God, Naruto, you baka, just use the door!!" Sakura yelled, going over to Naruto and knocking him on the head.

"Itai!!" Naruto yelled, rubbing his head and crying.

"What the hell!" Kankuro yelped. He had almost drawn out his puppets in case an intruder had came through the window. "Dammit, Naruto." He scowled.

"Hi, Naruto-san." Gaara smiled. He was amused by Naruto's antics. It was actually quite ...cute. He got up from his chair, and said, "I was told that Hokage-sama had something for me...?"

"Uh-huh!" Sakura nodded, reaching into her shirt pocket. She pulled out a small square package and dropped it into Gaara's hand. "There ya go, Gaara-san!" she smiled broadly.

Gaara, however, paid no attention to his friends but was fixated on the masked man. "Who is this...?" he asked.

Holy shit. This was Deidara and Sasori's Junchuuriki. Tobi didn't recall being at the Akatsuki at the time, but he watched from afar with Zetsu. "Umm...I'm Tobi..." he said nervously, holding out his gloved hand in hopes of a handshake.

Gaara crossed his arms and stared at the boy. He didn't recognize him, but there was an air of familiarity...Bad familiarity. He reluctantly took his hand and shook it, but pulled back instantaneously. He didn't trust this guy. He made a mental note to keep an eye on him at all costs.

Naruto grinned. "He's our new friend!!" he said proudly, not mentioning that Tobi was an Akatsuki.

Tobi felt nervous and shakey. He knew what this boy was capable of, and being that Tobi was in the Akatsuki made it worse. He looked down and pressed his fingers together in a very Hinata-like way. He let his thoughts drift off to Deidara and the rest of the Akatsuki. They were probably all pretty happy that he was gone...

* * *

Deidara wiped his eyes, and Zetsu placed a hand on his shoulder. He hadn't had a good cry in a long time.

"I..I just miss him so much, un!!" Deidara cried out, burying his face in his hands. He and Zetsu had been travelling for a long time, almost a whole day, and had decided to make camp. Zetsu didn't talk to Deidara, and just glared at him, talking only to call him an asshole. Deidara had enough of it, and let his feelings burst like water out of a broken dam.

"Look, we'll rest here for a few hours, then keep looking, all right?" Zetsu told Deidara. Deidara nodded and let his thoughts drift to Tobi. Was he safe? Was he..dead?

* * *

That's it for this chapter! I thank ye all for the good reviews I've been getting! Keep it up!

What happens to Tobi in Suna? What's up with him, anyway? Where does he wind up?

Stay tuned!


	7. Tobi Goes Missing Again!

Okay, so Gaara got his package. What's in it? What's Tobi going to do about Gaara's non-trustyness, and

Read on, my friend!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but if I did..Hidan would moonwalk. _Everywhere_.

* * *

Gaara clutched the package in his hand, and sat back down on his chair. He opened it, and inside was a scroll. It was pretty small, but in huge red letters it said, 'VERY IMPORTANT! OPEN IMMEDIATLY!!!!' 

Gaara undid the knot that kept the scroll rolled up, and it unraveled neatly on his desk. What happened next nearly made him shit himself.

An oversized Tsunade, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi-sensei sprang from the scroll. They weren't real, of course, but made out of paper and cardboard. The mini paper clones held up a large sign that read "Happy Birthday, Gaara!", and for added effect, Sakura and Naruto screamed at the top of their lungs, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!"

Gaara nearly had a heart attack. He fell out of his chair, his eye twitching. Kankuro was doubled on the floor, laughing himself into a coma, and Naruto and Sakura grinned widely. Hyperventilating, Gaara managed to choke out, "Wh-What the..." he clutched at his chest, his heart beating a million beats a second. Tobi just stared. _How odd. _He thought.

He walked to Gaara, and held out his hand so that Gaara could take it. Gaara weakly waved his hand, shooing Tobi away, and tried to get up himself. Once he caught his breath, he said, "That's...That's just creepy."

Naruto and Sakura sulked.

"..But I like it." Gaara added.

Naruto and Sakura brightened up almost immediatly, and they both hugged Gaara. Kankuro was clawing at a very large stitch in his side from laughing so hard. He had given up trying to hoist himself from the floor a long time ago. Gaara patted his friends on the back and chuckled slightly.

"Gaara-kun!" Naruto yelled out, pulling away from Gaara. "I'm so sorry for the short visit, but we gotta go."

"We do?" Sakura asked, also pulling away, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah! Ichiraku is having a special! I just remembered! Believe it!! AND IT ENDS TOMORROW!!!" Naruto said dramatically. "So, we gotta go."

"Ah, yes.." Gaara said. He knew of Naruto's ramen obsession. "Come visit me again soon, hmm?"

Tobi perked his ears when Gaara added 'hmm' to his sentence. He knew it wasn't intentional...But it sounded like Deidara. Tobi looked down sadly. He missed his senpai so much, even though he didn't miss him.

Naruto smiled and scruffed Gaara's hair jokingly. "We'll be back soon, Gaara-san!" Naruto promised, and he drug his friends away. Kankuro, gasping for air on the ground, weakly waved goodbye, and struggled to get up.

Gaara kept a wary eye on the masked man named Tobi. After the door closed, he said solemnly to Kankuro, "I don't trust that boy...Tobi..." Gaara had a feeling something bad would happen...

* * *

Naruto threw his hands behind his head, a fox-like expression going over his face. "Uuuughhh...I am SO bored..." he whined. "I wanna take a breaaaaakk..." 

Sakura sighed, too tired to hit Naruto. "As much as I hate to agree with you, I'm pretty tired myself."

Tobi looked down, then looked back at his companions. "...Tobi is a good boy, Tobi will keep watch."

"NO!!" Naruto yelled, being dramatic again. Birds flew from their trees, scared silly from the sudden noise. Naruto struck a Maito Gai like pose, pointing at the sky with his hand on his hip. Sakura half-expected him to scream 'Youth!!'.

Naruto swung his raised hand down, and pointed at Tobi. "You shall rest, Tobi-kun!! Suna is tiring!! Besides, we're in the desert! It's near impossible to see people in the desert!! Haha!!"

Sakura stared at Naruto. "..Naruto. It's easier for people to see you in the desert." Tobi nodded in agreement, too freaked out to do anything else.

"Wh-aaaaaaaa??" Naruto asked, his arms dropping as did his dramatic exterior. "B-but Ero-Sennin told me that while we were training and always made me stand watch!!"

"Naruto, you're an idiot..." Sakura muttered, rolling out her flatbed. She flopped carlessly onto it, and closed her eyes, trying to ignore Naruto for the rest of the night.

"You're mean, Sakura-chan..." Naruto whined softly, then started roll out his own flatbed. "Tobi-chan, you go to sleep too! We need rest so we can get to the ramen before anyone else!" Naruto said truimphantly, and then fell back on his flatbed, instantly snoring.

* * *

Tobi didn't go to sleep. He waited until his newfound friends were away in their dreamland; Sakura whimpering something about a 'Sasuke', Naruto likewise. 

_Whoever Sasuke is, he must be pretty special to them...Maybe he's a friend who died_...? Tobi thought, staring at the two sadly_. I feel bad doing this, but I have to...I don't want them in danger_. Tobi cast a forlorn look at his friends, the persons who hadn't judged him as an Akatsuki member before knowing him, unlike anyone else who would have came across him. He looked at the sand around him, and sighed, wishing he could have made clay gifts for his friends, as beautiful as Deidara's were. He looked down, ultimately saddened by Deidara's sudden intrusion in his thoughts.

In lack of material objects, he used his pointer finger to draw in the sand. He drew a large flower, a simple daisy next to her sleeping figure in the sand. Next to Naruto, he couldn't think of anything to draw except a fox, for that was what was inside him. Leaving it at that, he turned from the makeshift campsite, and walked on straight ahead, not knowing where he was going...

* * *

The Next Day...

* * *

Naruto awoke with a jolt. He had been dreaming of Sasuke again. He looked over to Sakura, who was also slightly stirring from her sleep as well. The sun was rising slowly, and it cast a purple hue around the area, making it look truly beautiful. Naruto looked around, wiping cold sweat off his forehead. It seemed like something was missing, and something was. 

"Sakura-chan, Tobi-chan's missing!!" Naruto hollered, jolting Sakura awake.

Sakura rubbed the sleepers out of her eyes, and looked around. For once, Naruto was right. "Oh my god..." she muttered, looking around as if Tobi would be hiding behind a sand dune. Small imprints in the sand by her bed caught her eye. It was a daisy.

"Naruto, look..." she said, pointing towards the doodle. She recogized it as one of her favorite flowers, reminding her of the Chunin exams when Lee and Sasuke were in the hospital. Ino had picked a rose to send to Sasuke, she had picked the daisy because it was a hardy flower, even showing its delicate face in the cold of winter...

But, if it was Tobi who had drawn it, how would he have known that?

Naruto immediatly checked his bedside for one, and saw what looked like a fan. "...Isn't this the Uchiha symbol?" he said with a blonde eyebrow raised, pointing at it.

What Naruto didn't know was that it was a fox originally, but Naruto tossed and turned in his sleep, his hand brushing the sand around. It now looked like the symbol all Uchiha's wore on the back of their shirts. The red and white fan that haunted Naruto's dreams as well as Sakura's.

Naruto stared at it, his mind blank. Sakura was also silent, and Naruto took it as a bad sign. "That is it, isn't it...?" he said softly. Sakura nodded, not taking her eyes off it.

"Why would Tobi leave that?" he asked out loud, mainly to himself. "It's not like he's an Uchiha, Itachi killed them all except for Sasuke... Did he?"

"Maybe Itachi missed one..." Sakura said, barely audible. She felt as if she was going to cry. A thought suddenly struck her, and she looked up at Naruto, who also looked like tears were threatening to fall as well. "It's the desert, Naruto...He can't have gotten that far, could he? And it's sand, he probably left footprints!!" She got up from her bed, and Naruto did too, both filled with some hope that their comrade was coming back, or at least wasn't too far off.

But as the two hopefully looked around, the footprints that Tobi would have left were already swept away by the calm desert sands of the night.

What seemed like hours of non-stop searching around the site came to a halt as Sakura said wearily, "Naruto, let's just head back to Konoha. It's useless, he's obviously nowhere around here. If we're lucky, we'll see him on the way back."

"B-But Sakura!" Naruto protested. "What if we just didn't look hard enough and now he's being eaten by a giant tanuki or something?!!?" Naruto said, waving his arms around as indicate how important the Tobi-eating tanuki was. "We have to keep looking, Sakura-chan, we have to!!"

"Please, Naruto." Sakura said, looking into his eyes. "He can't be this important to you, you've only known him for about 3 days." She reasoned, but she knew Naruto wouldn't let that factor matter.

However, seeing that Sakura was pleading with him, Naruto sighed, and said, "Fine, Sakura. We'll go home. But I'm not giving up on Tobi-chan. And that's a promise." he quickly rolled up his bed and put it into his pack, Sakura sighing with relief and doing the same.

But Naruto couldn't help but think_ What if it wasn't Tobi...? What if it was Sasuke? He would know what Sakura's favorite flower is, and the Uchiha symbol...Maybe he took Tobi or killed him... _Naruto kept his head down, looking at the sand. As they trudged across the sand, that constant thought hung over his head. Nary a word was spoken, both lost in thoughts and worry. They didn't even notice that the sand was receding and grass and flowers were starting to show.

Before they knew it, they were at Konoha's gates, and still hadn't found Tobi.

* * *

Oh the horror!! Oh the drama!! Oh the lasagna!!

Tobi, where are you? You've got some work to do now!! ...Ok, no you don't.

Will Naruto and Sakura give up on Tobi? Will Deidara and Zetsu give up on Tobi?? Where did he go, who did he come across?

Who did he kill?

Stay tuned, my fellow otakus!!!!!


	8. Heartlessness and Sewers

Tobi left some more of his friends, so where did he go? How much time had passed?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters in it. But if I did...Sakura would melt, but then be all non-melty in Shippuuden. Tsunade would have to teach a pink blob...hehehe...

R&R!

* * *

It had been 4 months since Tobi had ran away from his friends, both the Akatsuki and Naruto and Sakura. Having been without direct human contact for four long months, Tobi's spark had completely died out. He was a shell of the person he once was, bearing similarities only with his orange mask. Although no one could see, he had no emotion on his face.

At the start of his trek, he promised himself that no matter what, he wouldn't kill anyone. Not to soon after that, he was ambushed by rouge ninja, merely thugs looking for an easy putz to get money from.

The first one came at Tobi from nowhere. He had blocked himself from his attack, but the second one was behind him, and soon held his hands behind his back and a kunai to his throat. Out of fear, out of anger, he reared around and stuck his hands in his kunai pouch, quickly pulling one out and wielding it. Quick, angry slashes followed, and soon the small clearing was blood splattered, and two bodies were laying on the ground, various deep cuts scattered among their dead bodies.

Tobi breathed heavily, scared of what he had done. But after minutes of pacing around the bloodied field, panicking and hyperventilating, he realized...

Killing felt _good_. Now he saw why Itachi always got a kick out of it. Tobi left the lifeless bodies laying in the grass, and continued walking. He was in the original clothes he wore before he joined the Akatsuki, his cloak long gone.

* * *

For days he walked on, pausing only at small town to steal food and other supplies. As he walked on, the lonliness made him harden. His inner and outer shell grew strong as stone, and his kills grew more vicious.

One day, he looked around his surroundings. They looked familiar, ever so familiar...But he couldn't place a name on the location. He looked around slowly, and kept walking.

* * *

Naruto never stopped looking for Tobi. Ever since he got back to Konoha, he used the free time in between missions to hunt down Tobi, in addition to Sasuke. Sakura and everyone else told him to give up and only focus on Sasuke, at least they knew _he_ was alive. But Naruto had said,

"I never go back on my word, dattebayo!"

So for 4 months solid, Naruto looked and looked for Tobi, only returning to Konoha emptyhanded.

* * *

Deidara and Zetsu never gave up either. They thought they were on the right track, and ended up where Naruto and Sakura had spent the night, but all clues were swept away by then. But they just continued on to Sunagakure...

* * *

_1 1/2 Months Ago_

_"Zetsu, why the hell are we here, un?" Deidara asked his partner as they drew nearer and nearer to the large village gates of Sunagakure._

_"This is the closest village in the desert. We can get supplies and maybe find some information about Tobi, if he's been through here." Zetsu said in his monotone voice, staring straight ahead. He didn't want to be bothered by Deidara at all, after being stuck with him for the last 2 months._

_Deidara merely nodded, and they came closer to the gates, heavily guarded as they have been ever since he had taken the Kazekage all those months ago. Of course, there was always the back way..._

_"Are you serious." Zetsu said, staring blankly at the largesewer grate against the far Northeast part of the gates. _

_"Yes, we can't afford to be seen." Deidara said exasperatly, running his hands through his blonde hair._

_"**Fuck no.**" Zetsu growled. "**No way in hell am I traveling through shit covered sewers.**"_

_"Pussy." Deidara snorted, and he pushed the grate aside leaving¡ space large enough for him to squeeze into. Screw Zetsu, if he was too chicken about getting some sewer junk on his cloak, then so be it. "I guess you don't care about Tobi, then." he called out, not turning to look behind him. He knew Zetsu would come._

_Sure enough, Zetsu violently twitched, and with a great deal of struggle, he was right behind Deidara, pondering with himself on whether he should push Deidara down or not. However, as he agreed to shove Deidara into a very large pool of shit, Deidara noticed a ball of light and suddenly shot off towards it, thankful to find a way out of the stanky sewers._

_Zetsu was not so lucky, as he had lunged forward right when Deidara shot off. Needless to say, it was not pretty._

_Deidara was already outside, in some of the rare shade in the village. He quickly performed hand signs, forming The Art of Transformation. He poofed into a young man, brown haired and tall. There was some blonde visible in his hair, and for some reason he was wearinga tropical button-up that wasn't buttoned up, with a orange undershirt under it. Zetsu, cursing under his breath and screaming obscenities. He came out, and saw the transformed Deidara. He realized who it was because of the ring of the Akatsuki, and nodded._

_"Henge...!" he whispered, forming the hand sign. He turned into a small female with dark brown hair and baggy jeans. He raised his eyebrow, looking down at himself. So odd. Deidara took his hand and walked out into the busy town. They smiled at the villagers, and made their way to the Kazekage's building. _

_At the door, Kankuro was waiting. "Halt." he said boredly, not paying attention to them in the slightest. His attention was more focused on the Icha Icha Paradise book held in his right hand. His blush was visible even under his makeup, and he merely glanced at the two 'tourists'. "No tourists are allowed to see the Kazekage, he has much more important buisness to take care of..."_

_Deidara glared at him. What a dick, he should have been dead from when Sasori-dana poisoned him. He was about to snap back when cool, calm, collected Zetsu answered._

_"We are no tourists. We're representatives from..." he glanced around, settling on Deidara. "Iwakagure."_

_Kankuro eyed him, but then shrugged. "Whatever, go in." With those final words, he looked down at his book and chuckled slightly._

_"Arigatou." Zetsu said simply, bowing slightly and walking in. Deidara didn't bother with formalities and walked in after his partner. They passed by an office emitting angry cries from a female, and bored sayings from a male._

_"DAMMIT, SHIKAMARU, WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG!"_

_"Sheesh, woman...You're so troublesome..."_

_"Don't MAKE me bring out the fan again, Shikamaru!!"_

_"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Tema-kun? Just like last time..."_

_"...HENTAI!!"_

_Deidara and Zetsu walked faster, somewhat scared._

_They came to the door of the Kazekage, and knocked on it._

_"Intrude..." came a drawling voice that sounded irritated. Deidara smirked, knowing that voice all too well._

_Zetsu looked up at him, glaring. "Don't even think about it, baka."_

_"Whatever, un..." Deidara muttered, turning the handle of the door._

_The red haired leader looked up briefly to see who had come in. "Hello...?" he asked, raising a nonexsistant eyebrow._

_"We're looking for someone, un."_

_Gaara felt a sense of familiarity, but asked, "Who?"_

_"A guy named Tobi. He wears an orange mask, and is kinda tall, un." Deidara explained._

_Gaara raised his nonexsistant eyebrow once more. "Yes, I have seen him, actually. He came here with Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura of Konohagakure a few days ago. They left, I don't know if they're ba - What the hell?"_

_In the middle of his sentence, Gaara stopped. He had been looking at his paperwork as he had explained, but when he looked up again, Akatsuki members were in the spot the 'tourists' once were. He immediatly recognized the blonde one. His brows furrowed angrily._

_"What the hell are you staring at, un??" Deidara said impatiently. He hadn't noticed the Transformation Jutsu had worn off. Zetsu rolled his eyes, and pointed down. Deidara's eyes followed, and he looked back at Gaara, who had gotten up from his desk._

_"...Well, fuck." Deidara said. He turned to run, as did Zetsu, but sand curled around their ankles, keeping them in place. Deidara immediatly rummaged around for clay, but none was to be found._

_"What the hell! I thought I stocked up!!"_

_"You left our supplies at the sewers," Zetsu began, "**You FUCKING cunt.**"_

_Deidara winced. This was bad._

_"I'd ask you what the fuck you were doing here, but you already answered that by asking me something, didn't you?" Gaara said solemnly. "If Akatsuki members are looking for someone, that means they're either pretty desperate to kill someone, or they've lost a member. I doubt it's the first option, so that Tobi fellow is part of your orginization."_

_Zetsu grumbled, giving up trying to wiggle his feet free. The sand gauntlets just became tighter with each jerk of his foot. Deidara panicked. How the fuck were they going to get Tobi now?!_

* * *

Tobi paused. The name of this place suddenly came to him. Mainly because he was standing right outside it.

"The fucking Akatsuki lair." he said, staring at it. He chuckled slightly, allowing himself a faint smile. "Now, the question is, should I go in, or keep walking?"

"Oh my god."

_Too late. _Tobi thought, grimacing at the all-too familiar voice.

"Are you motherfucking serious?!" Another voice bellowed obnoxiously. Tobi sighed. Foul-mouthed fool.

"Tobi!!" Kakuzu cried, rushing over to his, dare he say, friend. Hidan followed, the malicious smirk off his face, replaced with a smile. In a fit of emotion, they got on either side of Tobi and hugged him.

"Where the fuck have ya been?!" Hidan demanded angrily, yet happily at the same time.

"Get the hell offa me." Tobi replied, his voice a deep monotone.

"He- ..what?" Kakuzu asked, confusion settling in.

"Get. the hell. Offa me." Tobi said again, his voice now a growl. He shoved his 'friends' off of him, Kakuzu and Hidan too surprised to stay up. They fell on the dirt, staring at Tobi. They slowly picked themselves up, both thinking the same thing.

_This isn't Tobi._

"Hey, stop right there!" Hidan commanded. "Who the hell are ya??"

"Why, I'm Tobi!" Tobi said in a mock cute voice, almost making himself sick. He didn't look behind him, only staring at the door, debating whether or not he should go in.

"Bull-fucking-shit." Hidan snarled.

"If you're Tobi, then..." Kakuzu paused, struggling for a question to ask. "...Why did you run away?"

"Deidara-sempai rejected me." Tobi said simply.

"What -"

"Pink."

"Who -"

"Zetsu-sempai."

Hidan and Kakuzu looked at each other, stunned. This couldn't be Tobi. Sure, he got all the questions right, but they hadn't even asked them. He was tall, as Tobi was, but he didn't act small, like Tobi once had.

Had Deidara really changed him that much?

* * *

Does Tobi go in to face his once-teammates? What will happen to Deidara and Zetsu? What's Naruto doing to look for Tobi?

Who enters in Naruto's life once more?

Is Gaara still as bloodthirsty as he once was?

Just what the hell are they gonna do?!

Stay Tuned, faithful reader!


	9. Reunited, But it Doesn't Feel Good

What did Gaara do to Deidara and Zetsu? The Akatsuki are trying their best to welcome back Tobi, but he don't give two shits!! And Naruto is faced with some unwelcome company.

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, but if I did, there'd be a musical.

R&R!

Dear god, it's been a long time. I thank you all for giving me such nice reviews! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. GOMENNASAI! I've been having some shit happen in my life.

But, here I am! :D Read, rate, and be merry!

* * *

Deidara sighed. From what he heard, it had been about 2 months since his blunder at the Kazekage's office. The jail wardens were actually pretty nice to him and Zetsu for some reason, allowing them to walk around in a dungeon instead of being locked up.

"Uh..Wanna play charades, un?" Deidara suggested.

"Oh, ok." Zetsu said sarcastically. "Okay, two words." He stuck up his middle finger at Deidara, and glared at him.

"Oh come on, un, you're not gonna forgive me?" Deidara whined, crossing his arms.

"Asshole, if you didn't royally fuck up, we'd have found Tobi by now." Zetsu spat. Both sides were equally pissed at him. It was hard to tell which was which anymore.

Deidara looked away. He knew it was his fault. His fault for everything. They were to be sentenced to death after having their arms chopped off so they couldn't use jutsu. He looked around, bored. He always looked around the cell everyday, just so he could see if there was a possible escape route. He always thought the walls looked weird, but didn't ask the wardens what they were made of. Today though, he had a feeling.

"Yo, guard, un." Deidara called out, keeping his gaze on the wall.

"Whaddya want?" He heard an angry, feminine, voice snarl out to him.

"What are these walls made of, un?"

"Uh..." a different voice came, this time masculine. "I think stone and clay."

"Clay, un?" Deidara repeated, his eyes lighting up.

"Yeah, clay." the same voice said. "Anything else?"

"Nah." Deidara smirked, glancing at Zetsu. Zetsu looked at Deidara, also allowing a smirk. Why are guards so stupid?

He placed his hand against the wall, the mouth on his hands greedily sniffing out the clay and chewing it. They spat out a magnificent bomb, one shaped like a bird.

He placed it against the wall, and shouted, "KATSU!!"

A large explosion rang through the cell, the force of it making the door fly open.

"Let's get the fuck outta here, un!!" Deidara shouted, already making a break for it, thanking whichever god took pity on him.

"Right behind ya." Zetsu said calmly, although he felt excited.

"Son of a bitch!!" the guards yelled, storming into the cell, only to see no one.

Zetsu and Deidara raced through the town, nearly impossible to see. They leaped over the walls, not caring about secrecy anymore, forgetting about the supplies they had left.

Deidara and Zetsu ran for a long time, heading towards the Akatsuki Lair. If they were lucky, Tobi managed to slither his way back. If not, then fuck that, they'd send someone else to go. There was no way they could keep doing this.

They slowed their pace to a brisk walk, and as they drew closer to their home, they walked at a leisurley pace. It wasn't like they had anything to look forward to when they got back anyway...

"Oh...my...gawd." Itachi and Kisame said in unison. Tobi stared at them. Kisame acted as Hidan and Kakuzu did, running right up to him and glomping him. "When did you - how did you -??"

Tobi sighed and grumbled. Itachi cocked an eyebrow. _This _was Tobi? This...This... Itachi clone?? There can only be ONE Itachi!

Itachi advanced towards Tobi slowly. He stared at him with cold onyx eyes with the calm, yet angry, scowl on his face. "Get happy again, Tobi. Soon. If you don't stop acting like...like fucking ME, I swear to god I will kill the shit out of you. Do you understand?"

Tobi smirked under his mask. What a fool. "Oh, yes, of course Princess Itachi." he said mockingly. "Spare me. I have no time for your foolishness, you spoiled little bitch. You will kill me? Hah. Get your head out of your ass and clear the shit from your brain. I can kill you, foolish little Itachi. And don't you forget it."

Itachi stood there, shocked, as all of this sunk in. Kisame backed away from the two fueding parties and watched uncomfortably as they stared each other down. Then -

"THAT'S IT, NUMBNUTS!" Itachi roared. Before Kisame could get his partner and hold him back, Tobi had already lunged out and caught Itachi by the throat. "You little child." Tobi murmured, tightening his grip. Itachi was too scared to think of activating his Sharingan. He made throaty choking noises as wild thoughts raced through his head. _This can not be Tobi...Tobi can't do these things...Sasuke...I...I..._ Everything went fuzzy. _Air...air..._ Itachi closed his eyes slowly. Apparantly, this was it...

"PUT HIM THE FUCK DOWN, UN!!" an all-too familiar voice yelled out. Tobi whipped around, dropping Itachi out of shock. His limp figure thumped onto the floor like an ugly old rag doll no one wanted. Kisame dropped to his knees, laying Itachi's head straight trying to clear his airways. Itachi coughed; he wasn't dead. But already deep purple bruises were forming around Itachi's skinny neck, marring his perfect skin.

Tobi was lost in his own little world. He stared at his lost senpai. "Dei..Deidara-kun..." he said breathlessly. A thousand jolts of what he once was spurned through him; and Tobi said in the voice that they had all missed, "Tobi is a good boy!"

Then it was gone.

Tobi growled. "I am leaving, Deidara-senpai." he said with a mix of disgust and disappointment.

"**The hell you are.**" Zetsu snarled. He was as hopelessly lost and confused as anyone there, but that didn't stop him from grabbing Tobi and holding his wrists behind his back so he couldn't perform jutsu.

"Now," Zetsu said pleasantly. "Care to tell us why you're here, Tobi?"

Tobi glared at Deidara. "I honestly have no idea, I just walked here. Fuck." Deidara looked at him uncomfortably.

He cleared his throat uncertainly, and said, "Tobi...I wish to have a word with you, un."

* * *

Aw, shit! It's getting hardcore up in this motherfucker!

Next chapter: Tobi and Deidara let loose everything in the comfort of their own bedroom. Well, almost everything.

Whatever happened to Naruto? Has he finally given up?

Hell no, that wouldn't be his shinobi way!!

STAY TUNED!!


	10. The Pillow

Two updates within a two days. I have such a plan for this story. Fear me.

Warning: This chapter has so much fluff in it, it's like a pillow. Hence, the name.

disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or his little friends, but if I did...There shall be sock puppets.

Songs listened to in the making of this chappie: Bitches, Backmask, Dick Are For my Friends (irony?), F, Faggot (more irony??) - all by Mindless Self indulgence, Dude Looks Like a Lady (now I'm just doing it on purpose) - Aerosmith, My Band - D12 ft. Eminem, Closer - NIN (listen to the song, you'll get the irony)

Thank you all for the reviews! I had no idea my story was so popular!

To ToboeDeidaraLover: Dear god, I laughed so hard when I read your review. Hol-ey-shit, images of Hormonal!Deidara flashed through my head. I think the world would be screwed up the ass. And Hormonal!Tobi...Well, I leave THAT to the reader's imagination. Good idea, maybe in another fanfic, but dear god I hope not in this one. xD Thanks for your review!

* * *

"No." Tobi said flatly. He didn't care to listen to Deidara at all. Not one bit…

"Please, un?" Deidara asked. He looked into the eyehole of Tobi's mask, hoping Tobi could read the urgency of the matter by looking into his eyes. Tobi, however, turned away. He had no wish to speak or look at Deidara. Deidara harrumphed.

"Why won't you talk to Dei-chan, Tobi?" Zetsu asked quietly. He loosened his grip on the boy softly, but still held him firmly. Tobi rolled his eyes. Wasn't it obvious to these dumb bastards?

"Why on Jashin's green earth," Tobi began, much to the approval and the yelling of fantastic obscenities from Hidan, "would I want to talk to…" he took a deep breath and lowered his voice. He looked down, away from Deidara and mumbled, "The person who hurt me most…?"

Deidara heard Tobi anyway. He looked down in shame, a lump forming in his throat and his stomach feeling as if it was turning inside out and swimming at the same time. "Tobi... Please. Let me talk to you."

Tobi said nothing.

Deidara dropped to his knees and did the unexpected. He bowed before Tobi. "Please!" he cried out emotionally. "Please, Tobi! I want… I want so much to speak to you!" He stayed in that position, sobbing and hiccupping pitifully. The members in the background were watching amusedly. Kakuzu was silently taking bets on what would happen. Tobi looked at his senpai. _Deidara…_

"Let me go, Zetsu." He commanded. Zetsu looked down at him. "Do what's right, Tobi-chan." He said wisely, and slowly let Tobi go, although making sure he was close enough to grab him if he tried to run off again. Tobi bent down on one knee, not truly thinking clearly. His arm moved on its own, his fingers threading themselves into Deidara's shiny blonde locks. Deidara looked up into Tobi's orange mask, a ghost of a smile worming its way onto his face.

"Let me make your aquaintence." Tobi said grandly, holding out his other hand for Deidara to take. Deidara did take it, and Tobi helped him up. "I will listen to you, senpai." Tobi said, still holding Deidara's hand. Deidara suddenly took charge, leading Tobi down the hallway. He was going to take him to his room, where at least they might have some privacy.

Once they were gone, the curses started flying about. "Alright, which one of you bastards bet me they wouldn't have sex?" Hidan grinned broadly, holding out an eager palm. "Dammit, Hidan, we don't even know what they'll be doing in there!" Kakuzu said grumpily.

"Let's find out…" Itachi muttered deviously. He had gotten over the shock of Tobi, little sweet innocent Tobi, almost killing him. Now he just wanted something to blackmail him about. He stood up and clung 

to Kisame, making the shark's heart beat that much faster. Kisame flushed, his blue skin clashing with his red blood, making him look purple.

Hidan noticed this and snorted. "What the fuck are you supposed to be, a retarded Barney?" He rolled his eyes and smirked at the shark's expense, walking slowly towards the hallway.

"Sit down, un." Deidara said, gesturing to the many possible options for sittage as he closed the door. He sat on his bed, not really trying to implicate anything. Tobi sat next to him, drawing a little closer than usual. "So, Deidara." Deidara flinched at the way Tobi said his name. Deidara. Deidara, as to rhyme with scum. "Just what is so damn urgent that you just have to talk to me? What, are you going to poke more fun at me? Humiliate me? Did you just bring me in here so you can tell me I don't matter?" Deidara lowered his head with each bitter question that was thrown at him. "Go on, Deidara. I couldn't care less if you did. I quite know that's true by now."

Deidara's head lifted up suddenly. "It isn't." he said. "You do matter, Tobi. You do. What I…" he drew in a deep breath. "What I wanted to say to you was…" he cleared his throat.

"Hah." Tobi scoffed. "What the hell is that _bullshit_? Do you really expect me to believe that? I don't matter, you know I don't matter, you're the one who promised me that I do not, in fact, matter. What, so now Deidara is feeling remorse? Or, the more believable case is that the others are taking pity on me and forcing you to apologize. You're so fucking pathetic. I honestly, honestly don't know why I was in love with you."

Tobi said this so nonchalantly, Deidara gasped. "You...you're in love with me?"

"Oh, shit!" Hidan whispered roughly. Kakuzu hissed at him to shut up, or he'd sew his lips shut. Hidan pouted, and did as he was told for once.

"Correction." Tobi said flatly. " I _was_ in love with you." But was it really just a thing of the past. Hell no, Tobi knew damn well that he still harbored affections for the blonde haired diva. Very strong affections. Instead of them receding away like Tobi hoped they would have, they grew and grew.

"Ah…" Deidara mumbled. An awkward silence. A gay baby was born.

Tobi sighed. "If that was it, I will be taking my permanent leave now…" He got up from the bed and started towards the door. "Wait!" Deidara cried. His hand struck out and grabbed Tobi's. He yanked Tobi back as hard as he could. Tobi's eyes widened as he spun around and effectively landed on top of Deidara.

"Don't leave…" Deidara said breathlessly. "Don't leave me." He wrapped his legs around Tobi's, just as he'd done to him a long time ago. Although, that time Deidara wrapped his legs around Tobi's neck and was trying to kill him. Deidara raised up his hands as Tobi squirmed violently. He lifted up that orange mask ever so slightly, just barely enough to see delicate unmarred porcelain skin and pale pink lips. He 

arched upwards, catching Tobi's lips with his own. Tobi squirmed, Tobi wiggled, Tobi desperately tried to be free of Deidara's death-hold. But, Tobi sunk into it. He kissed back with force. Deidara slowly let his legs relax as Tobi took control. Tobi's hands were now under Deidara. Deidara leaned up, his kisses trailing down Tobi's neck. Tobi rubbed Deidara's back lovingly, now working his way up to Deidara's shoulders, then his chest. He fiddled with the zipper of Deidara's Akatsuki cloak, pulling it down slowly.

"Oh, baby…" Deidara moaned softly. He leaned against Tobi, embracing him. His head was on Tobi's shoulder. Tobi sighed in response. He suddenly felt so good, he felt wanted. Those months of being all alone disappeared within that single moment. The zipper was finally all the way down. Deidara leaned back and Tobi took off Deidara's cloak at the shoulders. It slid down his arms and off his body. Deidara attacked Tobi's exposed lips once more, his hands fiddling with Tobi's clothes now.

"Those motherfucking heathens." Hidan murmured. "I do believe it is official, you little fuckers." Hidan glowered over them.

"Pay the fuck up!"

Suddenly, Tobi snapped to reality. He leapt off the bed, his mask sliding down upon his face perfectly before Deidara could at least catch a good glimpse.

"No." he merely said, not wishing to explain himself further. Before Deidara had time to question, he power walked to the door and threw it open, not even noticing the gambling shinobi. He kicked it closed and walked off.

They all looked at Hidan. Now they were the glowerers. "Oh, Hidaaaan" Kakuzu crooned sweetly.

"Shut the fuck up, you god damn money whore." Hidan growled as he fished into his wallet.

* * *

A hand held out a very tattered black cloak with red clouds on it. His companion, a big white dog with brown ears sniffed and snuffled at it.

"Have you got the scent, boy?" Kiba asked. Akamaru "ruffruffroo!"d in response. Kiba grinned, nodding.

"We got the scent, Naruto!" he called out.

"Good job, Kiba!" Naruto congragulated. Akamaru growled. "Oh, yes, and you too, Akamaru." He said sheepishly.

"Group, huddle up!" Naruto called. He leapt on top of a large rock. Illuminated by the background of the full moon, he looked large, in charge, and quite intimidating. Around the rock were Kiba, Akamaru, the small Byakugan heiress, Hinata, a determined girl, Sakura, the ever so quiet bug manipulator, Shino, and 

Sai, looking up at Naruto with that wide smile of his. "Akamaru has Tobi's scent. I know he's an Akatsuki, but I also know he's changed. Akamaru and Kiba, you stay ahead of everyone. We cannot afford to lose that scent. If Akamaru loses it, Kiba, you have the cloak with you. Hinata, you stay with Kiba and scout ahead. You don't need to stay with him all the time. If you see someone or something, warn him then warn us. Sakura, Shino, you two stay together. Work together, use each other's strengths and weaknesses to help each other out just in case. Sai and I shall stay in the back and make sure no one is following us, but I'll make clones. Again, just in case. Are there any questions?"

There were none. Everyone was too stunned by Naruto's seriousness and maturity to say anything. Hinata almost fainted; Naruto looked so _hot_ when he was in charge.

"All right!" Naruto's foxy grin spread out on his face. Of course, his maturity should die as he said, "LET'S GO KICK SOME ASS, TTEBAYO!!"

* * *

Finally, Naruto gets a group together. took him long enough. Jeez!

Next chapter: Naruto and his gang, and Deidara's POV.

An epic battle is coming up, between two lovers spurned...


	11. Teme? Dobe!

My name is Foamy, I'm a wannabe otaku stand up comedian, and I can't be narcissistic - I'm too awesome.

I love Uncle Yo, btw. I met him on Saturday! It made me so happy! Look on his MySpace, and go to Otaku-Mex 2008 in his pictures. :D My friends and I are in one of them. I demanded he sign my shit, like, 500 times.

I'm quite sad to say this. I really am. But for this story, there's going to be about 3-4, maybe 5, more chapters. I've got a great idea as to what to end it with, and this chapter is the thing that flicks the line of upright dominos of the ending to this story.

But have no fear! Get out of those emo corners! I'm coming out with a new story very soon. :) It's based on a roleplay my friend and I are doing. x3 But that's all I'm giving away of it, for now.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any of his little munchkin friends, but if I did... I would make Uncle Yo have a guest appearance as the crazy ninja who talks shit about Naruto and the Village 'Hidden' in the Leaves.

enjoy the newest chapter of "I've Got A Secret, Can You Guess What It Is?"

* * *

Sasuke awoke with a start. He sat up quickly. He glanced around his room, not sensing anyone's presence. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. _Just a dream…_ he thought dully. Karin, Suigetsu, and and Juugo were snoring away. He stared in amazement. The only time Karin and Suigetsu were quiet…It was a miracle. He got out of his sleeping bag and stood up. Naruto, as per every night, haunted his dreams. They were 'lovers', if you could call it that when you were about 13, before he had left. He'd dreamt about the battle at the Valley at the End. Their pitiful attempt at an embrace, Sasuke's gentle kiss on Naruto's lips after he fell unconscious with the hushed mutter of "I'll be back for you, Naruto-kun…I promise…" and the departure, leaving Naruto confused, alone…

Sasuke sighed. That was all in the past. Although, the repeated fantasy of Karin figuring out that Sasuke was gay and then killing herself… That would be the best. He smirked. He stopped and blinked, looking around. He had been walking around their campsite, and now he didn't know where the hell he was. _Greaaaaat…._ He inwardly groaned. A sharp rustle in the bushes behind him made him whip around quickly.

"Who's there?" Sasuke demanded, getting into a battle stance. It could be an enemy ninja, or an Akatsuki. If he was lucky, it could be his brother, just begging for an ass whooping…

"Pichuu, pichuuuu!!"

Or it could be a squirrel. Sasuke dropped the battle pose and rolled his eyes. _God dammit, stupid squirrel psyching me out._ Sasuke looked down at the squirrel, which had puffy cheeks and a carefree happy go lucky glint in his eye. Sasuke looked around, seeing if anyone who could blackmail him was there. Seeing there was no one, he muttered, "You're a cute sq-"

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!!" a voice bellowed out from Sasuke's left. Sasuke felt a sharp, fleeting pain in one side of his head and then the other as he fell to the not so soft earth beneath him. And then – silence.

"You cannot sneak up on the Great Naruto!!" Naruto shouted triumphantly. He looked down at his victim. A small bruise forming on his skull, there was a raven haired beauty lying on the floor. Naruto giggled, proud of himself, but on closer inspection as he crouched down to see if they were carrying any money…

"Teme!?" Naruto said, dumbstruck. Sasuke merely laid there, unconscious as a can of Spam. Naruto cupped Sasuke's cheek and stroked it with his thumb.

"Sasuke…" he muttered sadly, fondly. He jumped up and pointed at Sasuke, taking glee in his state. "I can't believe you were so easy to take out!! Oh my god, you fucking suck at life!!" Naruto doubled up laughing, laughing so hard his teammates walked in.

"Naruto, you idiot, we could hear you from the campsite!!" Sakura grunted, annoyed as hell. She balled up her fist and walked towards Naruto, ignoring Hinata's mumbled "Don't hurt Naruto-kun…" not being able to hear Inner Hinata's "GET YOUR FILTHY ASS HANDS OFF MY MAN, BITCH". She raised her arm and almost swung down, but she saw the victim.

"Holy crap, it's Sasuke!" she whispered. She crouched down next to her ex-crush and placed her hand on his shoulder. Hinata trembled a little and Kiba placed an arm around her, trying his hardest not to blush. Shino merely stared. Freak.

"Sh-should w-we take him with us…?" Hinata squeaked out, instinctively drawing closer to Kiba, who at this point was trying not to tackle her down and take her back to Konoha to do …_things_… with her. _SO cute…_ was what was running through his mind over and over. He looked down at her hungrily, and received a smack from Shino. Kiba looked back at him, and Shino had his hands in his jacket pockets, minding his own business.

Meanwhile, Naruto and Sakura were having a heated discussion.

"Let's just take him, Sakura!" Naruto whispered fiercely.

"No, dumbass, it'll be useless, you know he'll escape as soon as he wakes up." Sakura whispered back. She was one of the only ones who knew of Sasuke's and Naruto's relationship. She'd promised not to tell as long as she got at least one picture of them kissing. She was a rabid yaoi fangirl, who isn't? She was trying her best to let Naruto know it'd be useless without coming out and saying it.

Naruto ran his fingers through Sasuke's bangs, muttering softly. Sakura didn't know what it was that he was saying, but got up and left them. "Let's go back to camp." She announced to the others. The others nodded. They slowly trudged back to camp, Sakura falling back. The fangirl in her wanted to stay, but she was a responsible adult. She stopped and bit her lip. Well…It technically wouldn't be called being a pervert if she stayed around because Sasuke… well, he was a dangerous wanted ninja, wasn't he? And Naruto was just a dumb baka, wasn't he? Right? Right. Made perfect sense to stay behind. With her camera. Because, you know, she needed photos as evidence that… Sasuke was still alive. Yup. That's it.

Sakura tiptoed to a bush that was at the perfect angle to see hot yaoi action.

Naruto continued running his fingers through Sasuke's hair. "Sasuke-kuuuuun…" he crooned.

Sasuke stirred slightly. "Naruto-kun… I said not to sleep with your jacket on…" he mumbled in his stupor. Half awake, he slowly wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist. He blearily opened his eyes, looking up. The only thing he saw was Naruto's face, his piercing cerulean eyes the only thing clear. He closed his eyes again -Then opened them, blinking wildly. He sat up, relinquishing his hold from Naruto's waist.  
"N-Naruto?!" he said drunkenly. He shook his head, only to receive throbbing dull pain. "Fuck… Naruto, what the fuck are you doing?" He sounded as if he were gargling pudding through a straw.

"Sasuke!" Naruto said, grabbing his hand. "Are you okay?? I didn't know it was you!!" he started to panic now that he was under Sasuke's wrath. "Stupid dobe…!" Sasuke hissed. He suddenly became fully aware of his surroundings, what was happening and what had already happened. "What are you doing here, Naruto?"

Sasuke immediately reverted into calm, cool, and collected. He was standing up with his arms crossed. He had a glare in his eye even though his head was throbbing. He looked down his nose at Naruto, meaning to look menacing and vile.

"Awww! You're so cute, Sasu-kun!" Naruto crooned, clasping his hands together and pressing them against his cheek. You could almost see the pink glitters protruding from his eyes. Sasuke dropped his arms to his sides and his head dropped. His eye twitched.

He regained his composure and looked up. "Stupid dobe," he repeated. Naruto merely grinned at him. Naruto was so glad to see Sasuke again. He half wanted to kiss him, but then also wanted to skip the kissing and jump his bones. Naruto made sure that no one was looking (that he knew of…) and turned into the more serious, suave Naruto that he knew Sasuke adored.

"So…" Naruto trilled, advancing towards his once-lover. "What's a pretty young boy like you doing in a big scary forest like this…?" He wrapped his arms around Sasuke's hips, pressing his forehead against Sasuke's. Almost instinctively, Sasuke leaned into Naruto, holding Naruto around the waist. His eyes closed, and he sighed. Naruto smiled, pleased.

"We should be like this forever, Sasuke-kun…" Naruto sighed. He grasped Sasuke tighter, leaning in for the kiss…

Sasuke violently jerked away. "No, Naruto." He said firmly, coldly. Sasuke turned from Naruto, only so he wouldn't see the tears threatening to spill. So many overwhelming emotions at one time…It was far too much for Sasuke to handle. "No." he repeated, his voice just barely shaky. What was wrong with him? So many years of being heartless and emotionless, and cruel! And this blonde haired nuisance of a man ruined all that in mere seconds.

_But that is the amazing power of the dobe…_ The voice in his mind smirked at him. And no matter what Sasuke thought, he had to agree. Naruto had the power to change people, whether it is over time or in seconds. He'd helped Sasuke through the worst times of his life…That was part of the reason Sasuke had fallen so deeply in love with him. And he hated to admit it.

Naruto was downcast. His own tears, tears of rejection, were just barely being held back. "Please come with us, Sasuke," Naruto muttered, knowing it was useless. Sasuke wouldn't be swayed by Naruto's words, no matter how hard he tried. "We're…We're searching for the Akatsuki lair, or just anywhere. We're searching for a boy…A boy named Tobi." Sasuke's ears perked at the word Akatsuki. Itachi was part of the Akatsuki. Where else would he be but there?

He turned around. He had successfully stopped the tears from spilling, and looked the same, if not a bit flustered. "Naruto, I…" Sasuke almost accepted the offer. But he remembered that he had a team asleep some ways away from the spot they were standing. He was their leader…And he didn't want Naruto to get hurt because of him.

"No." Sasuke said gruffly, firmly. He glared at Naruto hatefully. "Why don't I just kill you now, you fool?" Sasuke was pained at saying that. His very soul clenched, and somewhere deep in his black heart, his mother was scolding him from the heavens. He didn't want to leave Naruto, not at all…But he had to. He had to until he finally defeated his brother.

Naruto looked down. Somewhere inside he knew that this would happen. Sasuke would never just suddenly abandon his only goal in life just for Naruto…Little did Naruto know, that Sasuke would do just that. He would. But he didn't. Sasuke sighed. "Naruto…" He said in a gruff whisper. Naruto's head perked up ever so lightly. Just enough so that he could see Sasuke's face through his blonde locks. "Naruto, I…" Sasuke approached Naruto, and grabbed him by the chin. He jerked Naruto's head up roughly; Naruto closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, fearing the worst – And then Sasuke kissed Naruto flat on the lips. The sweetest, most meaningful kiss that Naruto could ever receive. Sakura squealed behind her hand. Fortunately, the lovers were too engrossed in their own little world to notice the fangirl. Naruto kissed Sasuke back, pleased and thankful. His hopes rose, rocketed towards the sky, and the idea of Sasuke actually coming with them flashed through his head. But all that was replaced with black. Sasuke had intelligently prodded a pressure point on Naruto's neck while Naruto was lost in bliss. Naruto was out like a light. Sakura gasped, but was unable to do anything out of fear. Sasuke walked around Naruto's sprawled body, and he straightened his head. He knelt down behind Naruto's head and bent over him, much like he did at the Valley of the End.

"Naruto…" Sasuke swept back his own long black bangs, leaning down that much more. He could feel Naruto's steady breaths on his lips, and it made him hungry. Naruto's breath always smelt like some type of noodle. "Naruto, I promise…That when my hell is over, once my brother is finally dead…I shall be back for you. I can only hope that you shall always feel the same for me as I always will for you." With his valiant vow, he gently kissed Naruto on the lips once more, letting his hair fall over his face, serving as a sort of curtain. He pulled away, and stroked Naruto's cheek tenderly with his thumb. He stood up and once he was certain he was far from his own camp and the area his lover lay in he sat down, his tears over flowing his guarded eyes and washing his face in the salty goodness.

* * *

Deidara just sat there. His knees were drawn to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. He felt like utter crap. Tobi MUST at least still like him, or else why would he have kissed back? Right?

His Akatsuki cloak was under him in a crumpled heap. Deidara wanted to go after Tobi, he wanted so bad to. But he couldn't. He was scared and alone, and all he wanted was for someone to be right there for him. And that someone might have been if it weren't for Deidara. If it weren't for his short temper and blindness and inability to notice anything at all! Tobi, his Tobi, would probably be sitting right there next to him. Or laying next to him. Or above him, or below him. Anywhere, but Tobi would certainly never leave him. And oh, how he wanted that.

It was useless to pine and ponder for what could've, should've, would've happened between the two if they had somehow taken an alternate course in life. He knew that. But he couldn't help it. Should he have said this when in reality he said that? Should he have done that when instead he did this? He tortured himself for what seemed like hours over it. By then, to him, Tobi would be long gone. But he didn't know that Tobi wasn't gone at all. Sure, he had left the room, but he didn't leave the lair. He went into Zetsu's room, and sat there. Tobi breathed in the familiar smell of Zetsu's wonderful plants. It was heavy, hot, and humid, and Tobi loved it. He vaguely wondered how Zetsu could stand the heat, but then again, Zetsu was pretty much a plant himself. It felt wonderful to be back in the place that he loved. Besides his room and wherever Deidara was at the time, Tobi had come here to stay. Zetsu was one of the wisest people he knew, and always helped him through difficult situations. It calmed him, somewhat. Zetsu was the first one of the Akatsuki he'd ever known, and Zetsu had taken a liking to him. He wished that Zetsu could have been his partner, but he was put with Deidara because he had taken Sasori's ring. He loved Deidara. He loved the Akatsuki.

But now he was regretting all of it.

* * *

Sakura timidly came out of the bush she was hiding in and looked at Naruto. _You poor bastard..._ She said sadly in her mind. Easily, she threw Naruto over her shoulder like a rucksack and carried him back to camp.

"N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata fumbled furiously as Sakura entered their campsite. Naruto was unconcious, and that made Hinata sad. "D-did Sasuke-s-san do th-this?" Hinata asked. She was mad, or at least as mad as she could get.

Sakura merely nodded. Her eyes held sadness and anger. The once-couple were getting along so well before Naruto mentioned the Akatsuki. Of course, Sasuke's neverending vendetta against his brother came between the relationship that Naruto and Sasuke shared. It didn't surprise her in the least, but she couldn't help but feel so sorry for her blonde friend. The boys that came were already asleep, she could hear their snores. Ugh. The only boy that was up was Sai, and he was being taught by Hinata what a smore was.

She smiled at the two. They seemed to be hitting it off, even by Sai's standards. She knew that Hinata was very patient, so if they started dating, she would hold out for Sai's emotionless 'personality'. She laid Naruto by the fire, but not too close. God forbid he wake up on fire. Again.

She sat and stoked the fire. After Sai went to bed, Hinata went to bed. After Hinata went to bed, the fire fnally went out. Sakura was already asleep.

The next morning, Sasuke had already made it back to his camp. His teammates were asleep, and so he woke them up. Karin rubbed her eyes and fumbled with her glasses, trying to smooth her hair. Juugo lumbered over Suigetsu drowsily, threatening to fall down out of weariness. Suigetsu, however, was wide awake. He had been swinging around his sword excitedly, begging Sasuke for permission to lop off Karin's head if she didn't wake up. Sasuke was half pretending to consider that offer when she woke up. Only half pretending. Sasuke stood in front of his subordinates, one hand on his hip and the other slung by his side lazily, making him seem extra cool. That awoke Karin up some. The three stood there, getting impatient with Sasuke.

Naruto, of course, had awaken after everyone else had. He asked them all to gather around once more for a meeting. Sakura stood near Kiba, Akamaru right next to him. Hinata stood unneccesarily close to Sai, blushing. Sai just smiled. And Shino stood alone, feeling left out. Naruto grinned at his teammates, his friends, and stood proudly with his hands on his hips. His teammates smiled pleasantly, some smiles more real than others, to Naruto, awaiting his announcement.

"Well?" Suigetsu snapped.

"Well?" Sakura asked, slightly irked.

"Team," Naruto began, grinning.

"Team..." Sasuke said boredly.

"We're moving on straight ahead to Akatsuki!" Naruto cheered. His teammates looked at each other nervously, excluding Sai, but smiled back at Naruto.

"We're not resting again until we find Akatsuki." Sasuke informed them. Juugo, Karin, and Suigetsu grinned at each other, each grin more bloodthirsty than the last. They were excited for the challenge.

"Let's go!!" Naruto cried, pointing behind the small group, not caring where that certain direction went.

"Let's move," Sasuke growled, and he turned around, walking. His team hurried to follow him, hastily gathering up anything they could carry from their makeshift campsite.

* * *

Tell everybody I'm on my way, new friends and new places to see! :D

Next chapter:

Another talk between Tobi and Zetsu.

...And some other stuff...

I'm not giving anything away! ;P

Review, please! Ya'll know I love hearing your input on my chapters!!

And now, I part with thee with one question:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was Chuck Norris?


	12. Tobi Being Badass?

Hah, damn, how long did THAT take me to update? Thank you all for your reviews. :) You know I love such kind words rained down upon me, like some metaphor for rain.

Hey, kicking off the new year with a new chapter!

DISCLAIMER: I actually do own Naruto and all its hybrid crack baby fanfics... Hah, early April Fool's. I don't own diddly shit. :D

I AM THE LIZARD KING.

* * *

Zetsu calmly was walking throughout the halls. What a… interesting night it had turned out to be. He and the rest had left Deidara to his thoughts and solitude. Kakuzu was counting his money, Hidan was trying to see if he could stab himself up to the hilt of a butcher knife he had found in a drawer, Kisame and Itachi were doing _something_, Zetsu didn't really want to know what. He had no clue where Sir Leader and Konan were during all this. It seemed to him that they missed out on all the interesting things that went on.

He stopped at his door. "**Seems someone has been through here…**How could you tell? ...**How could you not tell, you moron? ...**Don't even start with me…" Zetsu's black half grunted irritably in response. He reached out his hand and pushed the door open. He had shut it after he left the room, as he always did.

Tobi never shut the door until Zetsu started making death threats. And that was each and every time that he had visited Zetsu in his room. Zetsu walked into his room, immediately scoping out a sulking figure.

"Tobi." He uttered. Tobi looked around, recognizing the voice immediately. "Zetsu…" He greeted. He looked away sadly.

"Tobi, do you mind telling us what happened in there?" White Zetsu asked as kindly as possible. Tobi said nothing. "Tobi." Still nothing.

"**GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND SPEAK, YA MUTE FUCK!" **

Tobi leaped up out of shock. "Zetsu! What the hell??" He asked while turning around, glaring at the plant man.

"No, I should be asking YOU 'what the hell'," Zetsu said, advancing towards Tobi. "What happened to the Tobi that would bound into my room, carrying a dead carcass and then telling me about his latest escapades?" He cocked his head slightly, trying to stare Tobi down but also putting on a 'best friend' manner as well.

"…That Tobi is dead," Tobi said quietly, looking away. He did not want to meet Zetsu's gaze.

"What happened to you, Tobi?" Zetsu asked, expressing care towards the manchild.

Tobi snapped his head to full attention, spreading his arms as though to gesture to the monster he'd become. "What happened is none of your concern, Zetsu." He growled. "This is me now, and I like it."

"**Oh, come off it, you little brat.**" Black Zetsu snarled. "**It is painfully obvious to anyone with half a brain can see that you're fuckin' miserable.**"

Tobi's arms drooped back down to his waist. He stayed silent.

"He's right, Tobi." White Zetsu nodded, almost sorrowfully. "I am very sure that you liked it, along with everyone else, when you were that vivacious boy." He paused. "Now. I will ask you again. What happened?"

Tobi took a deep breath. A hurried debate ran through his mind. Why should he tell Zetsu anything? Why would he care? Sure, he was his best friend ever when he was 'normal', but that doesn't mean diddly shit in the great, wide concept of the thing.

So he decided to play it off; it's not a big deal.

Shrugging, he said, "Shit happens. Heartbreak really fucks you up."

Zetsu was tempted to slap him. "What are you, Hidan? I have never heard you cuss that bad." Zetsu glared right into the hole of Tobi's mask.

"Like I said. Shit happens." Tobi said this so carelessly. With almost no emotion. He did not glare back at Zetsu, merely looked him in the eye. And just that look told Zetsu that Tobi just didn't care.

"Tobi, if you don't even want to be here, then why the hell did you come here?" Zetsu demanded. Mentally, he added, _And Deidara was just beginning to act like his old self again…_

"I got bored." Tobi claimed. Although that was a damn dirty lie. He got lost and he knew it. But getting lost wasn't badass. And Tobi was now under the classification of badass. "Man, why does anyone care that I'm back? You all act like its some big fucking deal or something."

Zetsu gritted his teeth. "**It IS a big fuckin' deal, you moron…!**" He snarled. "Tobi, you have no idea how badly everyone was depressed over your disappearance. No idea."

Part of Tobi wanted to believe that. Oh, god, how badly he wanted to believe that. He wanted to feel wanted, to feel useful again. He wanted to be a part of everyone's life.

But that other part. Damn that other part. That other part was like the devil on his shoulder. That part was what made Tobi feel the way he felt about life, the universe. Everything. He was the scum, no, the scum's shit. That was the way he felt, that, to him, was the way things were supposed to be.

* * *

"Oh my God." Naruto gasped. He was perched on a sturdy tree branch, hidden. The dark and utterly creepy dwelling that lay oh so very close, but so far away, just screamed Akatsuki. If they added a huge sign that said "Akatsuki Lair Here" with a huge neon arrow, that wouldn't have made it any more noticeable. He leapt down to his teammates, startling Hinata.

"Right." He began. He wasn't really sure what to say. 'Hey guys, this may lead to all of your deaths, kthnx'? THAT was encouraging. Not. "Well… Akatsuki's lair is just over there. It shouldn't take any more than half a day's travel if we move stealthily." The group was paying very close attention to him, a feeling of which Naruto liked. It made him feel all important and tingly.

"Now… I'm very sure that all of you know that Akatsuki is strong. Very strong." The group nodded amongst themselves in agreement. "I want to let you all know that you are all my friends. Thank you for coming this far with me. I… I really don't know if we'll all make it out alive."

There. He had broken the news to them. Although, they had probably known from the start that this mission was potentially fatal. "But," Naruto interjected the silence, "If we stay here for one or two more days, we can make some plans and… Hopefully we…" He didn't want to finish that sentence. Hinata looked horrified, and even Sai had looked at least somewhat downcast.

"That sounds like a great plan, Naruto." Sakura said, putting her hands on her hips. She had known the ultimate price that she and her friends could pay. The people around her nodded in agreement, and they all sat down in a Thinking Circle to try and figure things out.

* * *

Sasuke could feel it. They were getting close.

Although he had been ignoring his teammates for the past few days they had been nonstop traveling through the forest, even he at this point was feeling a bit weary. He stopped at a nice clearing, perfect for making camp. His teammates had halted as well.

Turning to them, he said, "We are close. Very close. We will set up camp here. We will rest. The Akatsuki are tricky, and we need to be very well prepared." His team nodded in agreement. They, Suigetsu especially, just wanted to sit down and eat by a fireside.

"Is that clear?" Sasuke growled.

Grunts of approval emitted from the three. Karin loved to hear Sasuke talk, what with that sultry come hither bedroom voice and that sexy demeanor…. What was I saying? Oh. Anyway… She loved hearing his voice, but at this point she was about to collapse.

"Good." Sasuke ignored the attitude his team was giving him. "I shall be in the forest around here. Do not bother me." More grunts. Sasuke rolled his eyes and walked off.

* * *

Naruto couldn't sleep. He was too worried. About him, his teammates, Tobi. How could he be so sure that Tobi was here? Maybe he was just putting his teammates in danger over nothing. Oh, GOD, what if that was the case. The Akatsuki could be Tobi-less and he could just fuck some of Konoha's finest ninjas over.

Shaking his head to clear himself of those thoughts, he got out of his completely unnoticeable neon orange sleeping bag. He needed to take a walk. Yeah, a nice walk. That would totally help.

So, on he went, venturing into the very green shrubbery. He noticed some unusual flora. He could swear that he saw a tree that had looked to have been chopped down… With a herring. Naruto made a mental note of that. He stopped moving around to try to get a better look at it, when behind him, rustling was heard, followed by a very loud and audible sigh.

He quietly turned around, trying to avoid any snappable twigs.

Too bad, Naruto. You cannot avoid the snappy twigs.

_Snap._

_Crackle._

_Pop._

"Motherfucker." Naruto said through clenched teeth, as Sasuke ninja'd out from behind the tree.

"Why me…?" Sasuke moaned aloud as he saw the orange and yellow nuisance he loved to call Dobe.

* * *

Why, god? Why must this chapter be so bloody short? :( The shortness makes me sad. But, I suppose it's neccesary.

50 points for each movie reference you guys can find in here. I know of two i made, if there's any I didn't know I made, go for it. :D

Stay tuned for Chapter 13.

Or I'll eat your face. :)


	13. Naruto Has A Point

Phew! Man, I was having the suckiest case of Writer's block. Sucked, man. Hmm.. Well, here's the thirteenth chapter. Jesus, 13 already. I've worked on this many a moon, and my only regret is that it's so fucking short. it makes me want to shove my head into a vat of acid, but it kind of works for its shortness. I suppose that makes up with it.

DISCLAIMER: Like hell I own Naruto. If I did, I'd fuck up the plot and I'd have so many musical numbers... With a monocle, a top hat and a cane. Bahaha.

So read, enjoy, and give me feedback!

* * *

Sasuke drew back slightly, making like he was about to attack. Naruto thought quickly, almost taking a fighting stance. Sasuke was a crazy runaway, he would stop at nothing to reach his goal, Naruto knew this. But, as he very recently discovered, that man still had some human left in him.

And, as he knew very well, humans were easily manipulated, no matter how bloodthirsty or insane. In fact, it was the insane ones that were one of the easiest.

"Sasuke…" He started slowly. "I'm not here to fight you. In fact, I didn't even know you were here." Naruto rubbed the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. "Funny how that suddenly keeps happening to us, ne?"

Sasuke relaxed a little bit. He knew Naruto, if he said he meant no harm, he meant no harm. But then again… Naruto was a slippery little bastard.

"Get to the point, Uzumaki." Sasuke said quietly, venomously.

Naruto paled. He didn't really have a point. "W… Walk with me, Sasuke." He offered, trying not to let the idiocy show in his eyes. He had to think of one, soon, or else Sasuke and his teammates, who were undoubtedly somewhere near, would gang up on him and…

Hey, now.

_I just might have a point to this after all…._ Naruto mused triumphantly.

Warily, Sasuke approached Naruto. "I don't trust you, Naruto. If anything, I mean anything, happens to me or my teammates, I'm holding you personally responsible."

Naruto offered his arm to Sasuke reassuringly. Sasuke refused, muttering, "The hell do I look like, a girl…?" Naruto fought back the snide comment he was about to say, and retracted his arm. "Walk with me, Sasuke." He repeated, confidence in his voice.

_Why I haven't killed him yet is beyond me…_ Sasuke thought, disgusted with himself.

"…Fine."

And so their walk began.

* * *

_Knock, knock._

"Let me in, Deidara-san." A very cool and calm voice emitted from the other side of the wooden door. Deidara glanced up at it, recognizing the voice. "C...Come in, Itachi-san, un."

Itachi slowly opened the door, and glided inside. He always moved with such grace, such elegancy. It was in the Uchiha blood, Deidara supposed. And somewhere out there, Sasuke tripped over his own feet for one reason or another.

"What is it, Itachi?" Deidara asked. Itachi silently closed the door and sat on the bed, looking right at Deidara.

"…Why must you toy with that boy's emotions?" Itachi asked bluntly. He was known for being very straight to the point; it was a quality that many in the Akatsuki admired him and hated him for.

"I do not toy with his feelings, un!" Deidara protested, lifting his head up from the Ball of Shame to cross his arms. He said this almost immediately, but as he thought about it, he realized that yes, he DID in fact fuck with Tobi's feelings.

"Deidara. I shall ask you this once more." Itachi stated, calm as ever. "Why must you treat Tobi like a plaything? Is it for your own sick amusement, perhaps?" Itachi could not deny this; it angered him to see Tobi like the way he is now. It angered him greatly. Annoying as Tobi was, he did not deserve the punishment that Deidara bestowed upon him.

Deidara let out a shaky sigh. "I…I don't know, un."

Itachi nodded. "A reasonable conclusion." He got up off the bed and started for the door. "Deidara-san… I highly suggest that you figure that reason out soon. You have no idea how long Tobi is planning on staying here. And when he leaves… Why, he may never come back."

Itachi opened the door and left, leaving Deidara in his own stunned silence to brood over that small piece of information.

* * *

"Tobi." Zetsu finally said, after a very long silence. Tobi nodded to show that he was listening.

"Tobi, I want you to talk with Deidara. Not make out, talk." Zetsu said very firmly. "If you won't do this for yourself, then please… Do it for me, and Itachi, and the other Akatsuki who are so worried about you."

Tobi stayed silent. He considered this. He honestly was confused about his feelings towards Deidara. He wanted nothing to do with him. But another part wanted to smother him in affection and happy things and cereal…

Mmm. Cereal.

And… and butterflies. Butterflies with no butter…

"…No." Tobi finally said in a sullen, monotone growl. He crossed his arms and repeated himself. "No. I will not go and talk to him."

Black Zetsu almost made a guest appearance to yell at Tobi, but somehow he was held back. "Tobi, a wise person once told me this – 'Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about'."

Tobi was silent once more, but slightly turned his head to look at Zetsu.

"You've been thinking about Deidara every single day of your godforsaken existence since you left, haven't you?"

"I-"

"**Haven't you?!?**" Black Zetsu snarled, glee almost tinting his voice.

"SO WHAT IF I HAVE?!" Tobi snarled ferociously, standing up and letting his arms fall from his chest to his sides, tensing considerably and clenching his fists.

Black Zetsu cackled.

"Tobi, I know for a fact that he's going through something similar to what you're going through." Zetsu said, trying to calm the boy down. "I'm quite sure he had his reasons to do what he did – I'm not saying they were acceptable, of course-"

"Then just what the hell were they." Tobi demanded, very slowly relaxing.

"**Gee, that's something you should TALK to him about, now isn't it?**" Black Zetsu sniggered, enjoying this. It was better than reality TV. Except this was actually reality.

"Just shut up…!" Tobi drawled out miserably. He felt ready to tear his hair out. Why couldn't Zetsu just leave him alone about this??

Zetsu shook his head. "Tobi, you know you have to do this…" He reasoned, trying to sway Tobi.

Again, Tobi was silent. But he knew. Oh, how he knew. He knew for a damn fact that his mind and soul would not be at ease until he knew exactly why it was that Deidara hated him. And why Deidara kissed him.

So many damn mixed feelings…

Silently, Tobi turned to the door and walked to it, almost stopping as soon as his hand touched the knob. Zetsu held his breath. Tobi quickly twisted the knob and strode out, letting the door close behind him.

Zetsu let out the air he was holding in, feeling somewhat relieved.

"Don't you get this utterly horrible feeling that something vile is about to happen…?" Zetsu pondered aloud.

"…**I do.**" His black side agreed.

"…And that's my plan." Naruto finished, crossing his arms and having a very proud look on his face.

* * *

Sasuke stared. "…Let me get this straight. You want our teams to merge."

"Yes."

"Invade the Akatsuki."

"Mhm."

"And this benefits us both, how?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, trying to remember. "…Oh! Well, you want to find your brother. And the sooner that happens, the sooner I can take you back t-"

"Say another word and I will kill you." Sasuke spat. He did not want to hear anything about Konoha. Fuck Konoha. He cared nothing for it. The only thing he cared about from Konoha was staring at him right in the face.

"…Sorry." Naruto mumbled, a little more than slightly deflated. He tried rewording his phrase. "You want to find your brother… I want to find a friend."

"A friend that might not even is there." Sasuke added. "You want my team to risk their lives for someone that might not even be there?"

Naruto nodded, very awkwardly. He just realized how selfish this all was.

"I see." Sasuke said, leaning back slightly, using his hands to support him. They were sitting down, both of them overlooking a hill. How Naruto led them there, he'd never know. "I must say, Naruto. This is actually one of your better plans."

Naruto's head shot up. He couldn't believe it. "Wow, really? Er... I mean… Of course it is. I always have the best plans."

Sasuke held back a snort. How cocky could you get…?

Subconsciously, Sasuke was jealous of this 'friend' that Naruto was talking about. Naruto was all about looking and searching for _Sasuke_, not some other guy. Sasuke reveled in the fact that he was Naruto's number one priority. And how he hated competition of any kind…

Sasuke and Naruto made their way back to their own campsites. Their hands were barely touching. Just barely. They didn't dare to hold hands. Not yet.

Sasuke turned to Naruto once they began to recognize the landmarks.

"Naruto…" He muttered, looking into his eyes. Naruto looked right back at him, although his eyes were not full of admiration or love, or anything of that sort. They were filled to the brim with determination. Sasuke recognized that and nodded to him.

"I… I will talk to my teammates." He said. Quickly, he turned and made his way back to his campsite.

"…Sasuke…" Naruto whispered. "Thanks."

And he too, strode to his campsite, feeling very muchly accomplished. They would wait until morning for their teammates to wake up, both of them thinking about each other.

* * *

Karin was the first one up. She sat up slowly, looking around, her vision bleary. She fumbled for her glasses. She found them and put them on, startled to see Sasuke.

"Oh! Sasuke!" She gasped. Almost immediately, her demeanor darkened as she said, "Sasuke, since they're not up… How about you and I-"

"No." Sasuke said firmly.

"O-oh… okay." She looked away, and almost as if on cue, Suigetsu woke up.

"Ah, salivating over Sasuke again, are you?" He chortled, only stopping when Sasuke gave him a death glare.

"Shut up, asshole!" Karin screeched, which made Juugo wake up.

"Hnn…" He groaned, obviously still tired. "You two make too much noise…"

"All of you shut up and listen." Sasuke said sharply, in that tone of voice that actually made them shut up.

"I had a meeting with a colleague last night." He began, ignoring the nudge nudge, wink wink of Suigetsu to Karin, who silently fumed. "He proposed a plan. His team, our team. We are both headed to the same direction…" He paused for dramatic effect. "The Akatsuki lair."

Silence.

"…So?" Suigetsu dared to grunt.

Sasuke glared at him again. "So. We combine our teams. At least, for now. And that way, less of us will die." He placed a hand on his hip, awaiting responses.

"What the hell, Sasuke?" Suigetsu bellowed, obviously the most miffed. "What the hell got into you, you're all about being on your own and shit, why the sudden change???" He gripped the hilt of his sword angrily. Juugo twitched, getting ready to hold back or harm Suigetsu.

"…Do not question me, Suigetsu." Sasuke replied calmly. Well, he couldn't jolly well tell them that his ex-lover and he met up for a little midnight rendezvous in the forest all alone to 'discuss important matters'. Who the hell would believe that? He knew that he wouldn't believe it if someone told him that.

Suigetsu snarled angrily. He growled under his breath, "Stupid little fucker, prissy pants little emo fa-"

Sasuke was behind him in a flash, his hands placed on Suigetsu's chin and shoulder, very well prepared to break his neck.

"Finish that sentence." He hissed into Suigetsu's ear. "I dare you."

Suigetsu gulped, partly wanting to challenge Sasuke. But, he knew that now would not be the time. "Let go of me." He growled back. Sasuke obeyed, throwing him onto the ground roughly.

Karin had little fangirl sparkles in her eyes. _Sasuke's so cool…._ She thought. Sasuke looked up from Suigetsu's pitiful frame to glare demonically at Karin.

Needless to say, she backed off.

Juugo cleared his throat, and raised a hand. Sasuke cocked an eyebrow and nodded at him, signaling for Juugo to speak.

"Umm… Well, I think that's a good plan." Juugo said slowly, glancing nervously around his team. Suigetsu slowly picked himself up but said nothing, scowling at Sasuke.

"Good." Sasuke nodded again at Juugo in approval. Juugo heaved a sigh of relief, happy that he had made Sasuke say something that wasn't completely asshole-like.

"We shall meet with them as soon as we can." Sasuke declared, looking around at his teammates. "For now, I don't care what you do. Just don't bother me." He proceeded to turn around, sit, and clasp his hands together, losing himself in thought as Suigetsu called Karin a whore, Karin beat Suigetsu, and Juugo stood there, unsure of what to do.

* * *

Naruto bit his lip in worry. How was he supposed to break it to his team mates? It wasn't like he could gather them together and say, 'Hey guys, we're teaming up with Sasuke and his team of bloodthirsty mutants to go find a criminal that's one of my friends!'

They would leave him on his own. Save for Hinata, maybe. He sighed, burying his face in his hands. He knew his plan was a good one, but there were many flaws in it. There were chances of mutiny in both parties, things could go horribly wrong, and people could die. Hell, people just might die because something went horribly wrong in an act of mutiny.

Naruto put his face in his hands and made a sound that was like a cross between a grunt and a sigh. What was he going to do…?

* * *

Tobi stood in front of Deidara's door. He could feel the prescence of many eyes, watching him. He rolled his eyes. "Get the hell away!" He shouted down the seemingly empty corridor, and a thump was heard. "Shit!" A voice hissed out, unmistakably Hidan's. A few more thumps, and a deeper voice saying, "Shut up, asshole…" Then everything was quiet again.

"Nosy little bastards…" Tobi rolled his eyes again, and returned his focus to the door. His heart thumped. Slowly, he raised a fist to knock on the door… And then it opened, a very dark and solemn looking Deidara standing behind it.

"I heard your voice…" He explained, his voice soft. "Thought you wanted something." Tobi looked away.

"…Yeah," he muttered. "Can I…?" He leaned forward slightly, indicating he wanted in. Deidara looked slightly confused.

"Uhm... Yeah, sure." He stood aside, and Tobi walked into the room.

Deidara shut the door behind him.

The hall was silent.

* * *

Now that I look at it, to me the ending seems rushed. All well. Man, there's probably going to be a shitload of chapters before the end... I think that it'll go up to maybe 20.

Next time: The confrontation!

Naruto tells his teammates what's up! Tobi and Deidara finally talk!!! Hidan just might win a bet!! Stay tuned!


End file.
